One More Try /FRERARD

Chapter 6:A life paraphrased for comfort

A/N it's going to be in third person unless I say otherwise.

The dreams had started a week after Gerard got back from the hospital. It always started the same

Gerard would be running through the woods near school screaming Franks name. He would always trip over the same branch no matter how hard he tried to miss it. As he fell a hand would catch him just as he was about to hit the floor. Gerard would look up at the stranger but he would wake up right before he saw his face. The hand felt familiar though. The presence of the stranger was comforting and warm. But he could never quite get the person right.

Expect one night. The dream was extremely vivid after a few bottles of vodka and a couple lines of coke.

The dream started the same and gerard subconsciously prepared himself to fall. Expect this time there was no one to catch him. No stranger to keep him up. Gerard looked around whilst getting up.

He felt on edge as he didn't know what was going to happen. A small hand suddenly showed on his shoulder. Gerard whipped around confused at the change.

It was him. He was right there in front of him after all this time.

Gerard couldn't help be disappointed that it wasn't frank. But he was overjoyed at seeing his best friend from his early years.

"Ray? Is it really you?" Gerard mumbled. Ray didn't respond instead he grabbed Gerard's wrist and started to drag him to the place Gerard knew all to well.

He didn't want to be there. As the memories flooded back- failed CPR, frank gone. He tried to wake himself up as Ray dragged him.

The body came into view of Gerard and he let out a whimper as Franks lifeless body was slumped against the tree. He couldn't take it anymore, falling to the ground with a thud, gerard cried and cried his heart almost bursting at the scene in front of him.

The time he had known Frank was short but filled with emotion. Meeting everyday after school, going to the comic book store, eating frozen yogurt in the cold. The time they had kissed. Frank had ran off. Gerard just wanted to feel the younger boys soft lips on his once more.

He closed his eyes taking in the memory of their first kiss. It was so real. Gerard felt like he was right in the memory kissing Frank except this time it lasted longer. The feeling disappeared so he opened his eyes. In front of him was the one person he needed most in the world. Frank.

Gerard's body was filled with a buzz of electricity as he looked into Franks eyes. It was him. The half smile. Perfect eyes. The little scar where he had chicken pox. Everything was perfect. But something didn't feel right.

Gerard knew frank was gone. He watched him die and he knew frank wouldn't come back. His breathing quickened and his heart pumped harder. It was all too much. He couldn't do this.

Frank looked at him in shock as Gerard slowly walked away with a look of pure terror on his face. He felt his heart break as Gerard left him.

Gerard forced himself to wake up. He needed to get out of that dream. Or nightmare.

He woke up in a cold sweat. His heart was broken and his mind was on the edge. Slowly making his way over to his draw of releases, he felt as if someone was begging him to stop. He shook the feeling off and carried his body over to the draw reaching into the top shelf he took out his razor and paused again.

It felt like Someone was trying to stop him but Gerard didn't believe in ghosts or anything. He sat on his bed and looked at the shiny object in his hands.

"Gerard please don't do this..." He felt like he recognised the voice. Gerard was going mad and he couldn't find his grasp on reality anymore. Frank was gone and once someone's gone there's no coming back. This isn't some shitty fantasy movie. This is real life. Where the perfect people who have done nothing wrong are killed but idiots are left unscathed. This is a world where true love is ruined due to discrimination and pathetic hatred. This is a world where Gerard lost Frank because he couldn't protect him. This is a world that no longer needed Gerard in it.

As Gerard rotated the blade in his hands he imagined what it would've been like had Frank lived. Would they be together like he had hoped? Or would Frank run away again?

With every thought that came into his head he tarnished his white skin with beads of scarlet. He didn't feel anything anymore. Everything was numb and blurry without frank he had no meaning.

Frank was his soul mate. Taken too soon, leaving behind a broken boy hoping for death. Frank was all the had. He was all gerard wanted.

Again and again he sliced, with each swift movement he hoped it would end. Until he saw Someone out the corner of his eye. Looking at him, taking in his self destructive actions. Gerard slowly put the razor down and admired his masterpiece.

Remembering that someone was staring at him, when he was supposed to be home alone. He whipped around...

The world seemed to stop, maybe just for a second everything seemed fine. Gerard watched the Someone in front of him. Taking in all his features trying to piece together how it was possible. He looked the same. Just as gerard remembered him.

His Someone. His one. Was there, right in front of him. A smile traced his delicate lips as Gerard stood up and walked over to him.

Him.
The one.
Frank.

The thought of how didn't even bother Gerard anymore he just wanted to be there for how every long they had.

"Frank? How are you here?" Gerard questioned.

"Gee! What do you mean? I never left, I saw you yesterday at school...in the locker room?" Frank looked puzzled. Gerard's mind was racing.

"Frankie what do you mean... you died. I saw... no. This has to be a dream" gerard again backed away from frank. Terror plastering his face.

"Gerard are you okay? You don't look well at all" frank ushered for him to sit down on the bed. Gerard immediately took the opportunity.

Gerard was trying to piece everything together. Had frank died or was it a vivid dream. He'd had them before but never as strong as that. Mainly when he was pumped up with too many lines.

"GERARD! GERARD! HELP ME PLEASE!" Frank was looking straight at him but screaming in his face. Then suddenly they were back were it had happened. Where Frank had died. Where Gerard's heart stopped. The hope he had been given to live for a little was ripped from him mercilessly.

"Frank. I can't help you. I can't help anyone. It would be better if I ended everything maybe we could be together..."

Taking the razor back into his hands from his pocket. He took one last breath before slicing a delicate line across his war torn wrists. Deeper until his life flowed around him.

The darkness took him quick. He felt little pain. His heart hurt more than his skin.

The past year with and without Frank had been the best and worst time of Gerard's life. He'd fallen in love just to be stabbed in the heart and the knife twisted till his ended the suffering.

1 week later

No one came to his funeral expect him mum. She was barely there anyway, she came for the burial then left to go on a holiday in France. No one said goodbye to him.

A news article was published about his sudden death.

New Jersey star

18th November 2018

Gerard way, a local teen, was found early this morning outside of his high school next to the memorial site of Frank Iero. The two were believed to have known little of each other's existence. Mr way was found with a letter next to him. The police speculated drugs were involved in the lead up to his passing.

Police Report
17th November 2018
3:45 am
Evidence 1
Together into the darkness we walked
Hand in hand
Hearts connected and interlocked
I loved you Frankie.
please forgive me for not saving you.

Xoxo-Gee