Left to wither #Wattys2017

Chapter 19

Sarah POV:

A heart thats been torn,

Left to bleed to death,

Is a heart that once cared dearly,

Now ice cold to touch and lost its warmth,

Once a harbor for happiness is now filled with doom,

Now lost its beliefs and filled with hatred 

Is a heart thats been torn,

Left to bleed to death!!!!

Recently seeing Brian had triggered a lot of my buried emotions. My therapist once advised me to write it all out which I used to religiously follow until a year back and then I found myself gradually having nothing to write. I thought I was getting better and over him but I guess not. Few things leave a scar in you so deep that no matter what you do you will never be the same person again.

Love? A word which is used most often. Did I know what is love when I met Brian? Most definitely not. The day I met him is when I found myself falling into a pool of bliss. Three years I spent with him I could honestly say was the best years of my life. Unfortunately not many of us know that love is a curse. It gave me so many good memories that I know for sure I would cherish all my life but it also caused me so much distress that now I'm not even sure who am I anymore. Yes, I'm my baby's momma and not the little mouse anymore. Yes, I would fight tooth and nail for her. Yes, I would go against the very last person on this planet for my baby but when it comes down to who am I and what am I doing with my own life it all becomes a big question mark. Sarah as a person has lost her own identity the day things went awry in her life. Now I maybe many things in life but who am I will forever remain a question mark. Many of them might find this foolish but true love and betrayal does this to you. Especially when the love of your life throws you out in the middle of the night after calling your baby a bastard and then proceeds to call you a whore.

Betrayal? Yes the word might sound so simple but the impact it causes on one's life is enormous. It scars you forever and makes you an empty shell of a person who is filled with so many doubts. It turns you into a person who is incapable of trust. That's the point the originality of the individual is lost and everything after that becomes meaningless. So caught up in my own world I failed to notice my baby has woken up from her little nap.  I snap out of it when my baby starts jumping up and down on my bed..

"Momma me hungwey" Mia says with a cute pout.. awww my baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me and she is my blessing. She is the reason i don't regret my past. I laugh a little seeing that she still hasn't stopped pouting. Oh god! Such a cutie. "Yes baby come on let's make pancakes" with that I kiss her pout and take her to the kitchen.." she is my world..