Masked Facade

Chapter 9: The beginning

Alice's (Raelyn) POV

You're my Alice.

I'm your magician.

His words still stayed with me, even in his absence. I hated him for showing up in my life. I hated my fate for setting up this meet. I hated myself for being so weak in front of him. I was supposed to be Raelyn Harper, not Alice Collins. Every touch of his gave birth to new wounds. New scars to add my collection.

Standing under the shower, I let the hot water wash away his scent from me. Because it hurt. A lot. The hurt covered me like a cloak I never wanted, bonding to my skin. I scratched my arms, my face, wherever he placed his filthy hand, to get rid of his touch.

I was once grateful for the love he gave me, but I loathed him for taking it away from me. He made it impossible for me to love again. He made me believe that no one cared for me by his past actions. The hurt that it caused was a spider web, intricate yet strong. The demons from which I kept running clawed at my mind, pushing itself forward to gain the attention inorder to damage me.

"Mommy! We're home!"

Caleb's excitement filled voice made my heart thump against my ribcage faster than ever. But I wasn't done with it. I wasn't ready to face him or anyone for that matter. I had to let it out. I crawled over to the bath tub filled with water and taking a deep breath, I forced my head into the tub and screamed my heart out. I screamed until Ryan's face faded from my mind. I screamed until I heard my heart giving up. I screamed until it became difficult for me to breathe. I just wanted to stay like that because for some reasons, it took away the pain. Since I wanted it gone, I wished to stay in that position but then my locket came floating in front of my eyes with the images of my two most important living beings in the entire world.

I realized that though Ryan managed to get me fucked up, my kids paved way to safe haven. They paved way to peace. I realized that they were my world and that I needed no one but them till I took my last breath.

A loud gasp left my lips while my chest heaved when I made it out of the bath tub and I heard someone banging my washroom door. I couldn't hear properly but did not give a damn about it and quickly shuffled to my feet. My hair was sticking all over my face when I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy with all the sobs I let out earlier. Splashing the water to get rid of the burning sensation in my eyes, I fixed my uneven hair to somewhat human like. Getting hold of the towel hanging by the basin, I wiped away my pain, hurt and fears before opening the door.

"Raelyn! Open the damn do-"

Katie's rant was interrupted when I pulled open the door while her mouth hung open when she studied my form. I didn't dare look in her eyes because for all I knew, she'd make me spill everything about earlier.

"Oh, my God! What happened to you?!" She practically screeched while I didn't even flinch. I had zero energy level left in me to react and honestly speaking, I felt lost. With people around me, I felt isolated. I didn't have anywhere to go now that I'm struck between my past and the present.

I cleared my throat, though it wouldn't help me smoothen my voice, and said, "I'm fine." I couldn't recognize my own voice in my ears. But I cared less about it when I asked her, "Where's Caleb and Chloe?"

"First answer me, Raelyn. Else, I swear to God, I'll-"

"I need to see them, Katie." My head swirled or was it the room that was revolving around me? I couldn't tell. But I felt cold and hot, both at the same time. But I focused on my kids before doing anything.

"Please." I begged her to understand and not to ask anymore questions that I didn't want to answer. She gazed at me worriedly but gave me a nod while letting out a sigh.