Masked Facade

Chapter 32: Epic

Alice's POV

Six years ago...

"He was my biological father." Those words felt foreign to me. It never occurred to me how just thinking about what he did to me made me strong and week, both at the same time. I knew judgment wasn't long due on Ryan's part after he'd know everything about me. But still, it felt good to know that he was putting much-needed effort to keep us sailing.

"What did he do?" He squeezed my hands locked between his, silently ensuring me that he was still there. It was the aftermath that terrified me, not that very moment.

"I want your word that no one hears anything that I say from here onwards outside this room. Can you do that?" Quirking an eyebrow, I waited for his answer.

"Not a soul." He placed little kisses on my knuckles before adding, "It stays between us."

Taking a deep breath, I started all the while training my eyes on his for every kind of emotion that passes through his beautiful and handsome face.

"My biological mother was a drug addict when I was little. She wasn't always one but she chose it when life didn't happen the way she wanted." I shrugged as if it was inevitable and looked between the two of us, no more able to withstand his scrutiny. "My biological father loved her irrespective of her poor choices in her lifestyle. One thing led to another and then eventually there was verbal abuse whenever they shared a room. The fact that I was just a kid and their lashing out could harm me in all ways possible didn't concern them even a little bit. At first, she claimed that her relationship with my dad was a mistake. Then the blame shifted to her marriage with my father while he tried to get the situation with her under control. It was only a matter of time when she placed the blame on me for me to suffocate. And suffocate I did."

My throat felt constricted as if someone was squeezing it from inside, preventing me from spurting any more words that validated my past. After worrying my lips for a couple of minutes, I felt him shift towards me even more, our legs touching and his fingers drew circles on the inner side of my wrists. Still trailing my gaze on his actions, I continued, "As days passed, I slowly shifted to the attic, like getting important stuff from my bedroom to there to get me through hard times, when I felt no hope in being close to my parents. I know my age was so inconsiderate to even cultivate a thought of staying away from the very people whom you expected to love you with their lives."

I closed my eyes when the heaviness settled against my shoulders and when I opened them, I found myself going through that day like it happened just yesterday. "One day, when I returned home from school, the place I once called home was nothing but a huge mess. While I searched for a trace of either of my parents, I felt a pit in my stomach as I was already expecting the worse in my mind. At that moment, I was totally done for."

"What happened?" Ryan's soft and worried voice pulled me out of the chaos.

When I looked at him, he was lifting his hand and brushing something from my cheeks. I wasn't sure when I started sobbing but it was just the start. And I had no idea what'd happen in the end when I confide in him fully.

"My mom laid unconscious with her eyes open on her bedroom floor. I tried to wake her up but my efforts went to vain. My father was a gynecologist at the local hospital." A hiccup left my lips but I just kept going, "I immediately called the emergency number he left me with. Now when I think about it, I feel like he knew that day wasn't so far."

"Fuck, you didn't deserve to go through it." From his tone itself, I could tell he was deeply disturbed by the fact.

"No one does," I admitted through a blurry vision. He nudged me softly to continue and I did as he asked. "After my mother, I was all alone. And at some point, in the later stage, I felt solace in that loneliness. I missed her good parts but then her bad parts overpowered every good thing she did for me that I felt lost. I forgot how to feel anything, Ryan."