Masked Facade

Chapter 25: Not Mine

Alice's POV

Laparoscopy's a kind of surgery procedure where the surgeon punches few holes on your body than normal procedure where they cut open tissue after tissue of cells to reach the problematic area in your body. Let me tell you one brutal truth about both the procedure - they suck. It hurts like shit, and even though I went through laparoscopy, it didn't change the fact that I was bruised by the surgery and had tough time dwelling on to the fact that it may take more than a couple of weeks to steady myself.

Heather and Katie wanted me home, so they could take diligent care of me. From the way they managed to handle things with the kids and my condition, it gave me a strange kind of satiating feeling. Frankly speaking, I saw my dead mother in both. Funny how things could wrap up when you're about to take another course through your life.

I was prepared to handle the near possibility of having tumor in my pelvic region, but I was never prepared for the other possible outcome. My death. I didn't fear it for me but my kids. I made a promise and I would strive to fulfill it at any cost. Even if it meant seeking Ryan.

He vowed to be whatever I wanted him to be. Whatever I expected him to be. He remained a stranger who helped me with my sessions with Dr. Samson. He then became my friend when I wanted to let Heather and Katie know about my medical condition. I was more than worried about me ruining his relationship with Carol by my constant presence but then Carol stepped in and helped me instead, by letting me have Ryan's company as long as I craved. She was being selfless and I selfish.

I had no idea how much Carol knew about the past that I and Ryan shared but I knew she was aware enough to get hurt in the process of my healing. I saw it in her eyes, raw and pure. From the looks of it, it seemed like she saved Ryan, and would do anything to do it again. But I wasn't ruthless to make her relive my presence as a hindrance to her relationship with him. He belonged with her and not me.

I strived to make it crystal clear to Ryan even it meant I had to give up my facade.

It was surprising to have Mark pay me a visit. The assurance he provided me regarding my pending work that involved Ryan was something I was looking forward to. I knew how Maria could be, but I knew Mark better to never get manipulated by her words. If not, he wouldn't have stepped his foot in my apartment.

At that point, I admitted how messed up my life was. How messed up I was and how I messed up people around me. It was hard when I was young but with responsibilities weighing down my shoulders now, it seemed like I had more reasons to do the right by Ryan, Carol and my kids.

Sitting beside me on either side were my kids with wide beautiful eyes, expecting me to vomit the reason why I was sick. Sure, I was cured but they behaved like they were somehow responsible for my condition.

"When will you be alright?" Caleb asked with pure intentions, his eyes almost glassy with unknown emotions floating in the brink.

Before I could formulate a better response for him, Chloe's concern trapped me. "I miss it when I can't play with you in Heather's backyard. She told me that it would be a while before you played with me."

"First of all, I am more than alright. It's just necessary for me to take enough rest as the doctor advised me when you get a little bit ill. And I wish I could spend time with you guys, but Mommy's tummy hurts when I try to do something. Are you getting it?" At that revelation, Caleb's gaze shifted from my face to my belly region, which was now covered in ugly stitches, a permanent imprint.

"Are you going to die?" Caleb's brutally honest words never let me unsurprised. It didn't matter that he was just a kid speaking like a straight forward man. Sure, his terse words made my heart race uncomfortably but then – like mother, like son.