The Girl He Left Behind

•6•

It's hard to move on.

Imagine losing the love of your life so suddenly. You try to fool yourself into believing he wasn't the love of your life. That he was just a guy like any other that you cared for, because how else could you cope?You regret ever getting to know him, and everything you went through. You regret it all because the pain of losing it is so unbearable.

It's hard to adapt to change in a world that never stops moving.

Everyone tells you it'll get better and you'll meet someone new. And you have to feign a smile and pretend to be encouraged by the words. Moving on isn't as easy as people make it out to be. Not when the guy you're trying to get over may have been the love of your life.

But who was I to think such things?

In the minds of the onlookers, teenagers are too young to comprehend true love anyway.

•

"This kiss means nothing," I breathed the harsh words out as soon as he released my lips.

I couldn't help the gleeful smile that graced my face as I met his eyes and noticed he was just as disheveled as I. Pressing my hands against his shoulders I attempted to make him set me down. With a firm shake of his head he tightened his grip on me.

Stubborn jerk.

"I remember a girl who once told me, her kisses were meaningful. A girl who believed a kiss meant a lot and this was the reason why," his lips grazed mine as he continued on,"her kisses were the best."

Once I managed to beat away the butterflies and get a grip on myself, I bumped my forehead against his. He almost released me, but he got over the shock quickly. And only grimaced in response to my action.

"Well then, it was pretty damn stupid of you to kill that girl."

I saw the fiery anger in his eyes as he punched the cement wall next to my head. I knew Abel had a temper. He used to get into fights just for the fun of it. He liked the pain and it was probably his saddest attribute. So I wasn't surprised that the pain of punching a cement wall didn't affect him that much.

My yelp of surprise and fear seemed to break him out of whatever trance he was in.

"Nunca me vas a perdonar mi Leslie?" His agonized whisper, made me want to cry for him.

(You're never going to forgive me, my Leslie?)

But I won't. He left me behind. He didn't care about all the pain he caused me. He wasn't there for me when I overdosed on pills, because I couldn't take all of the sadness that seemed to overpower me. Or when I was in therapy. He broke every single promise he made to me and didn't give a damn about what would happen to me.

"Nunca," I replied coldly, leaning in as close as I could without touching his face, "que te perdone dios, pero de mi no esperes nada."

(Never, may god forgive you but from me don't expect anything.)

"Ok, fine," he replied with tight lips, before lifting me off of my feet and throwing me over his shoulder, "no me perdones. As long as you're mine, I don't care if you forgive me."

"I am not yours!"

"Ha, even you don't believe that."

•

Once again I was in Abel's home, except this time I'm wide awake. He had left the room and I decided now would be a good time to change. I picked out an over sized shirt, a friend lent me when I slept over her house once. I'm assuming it was her brothers shirt. Either way it was pretty comfortable. Normally I'd only wear the shirt, but just to be safe I'll put shorts on underneath.

I almost tumbled over my suitcase when Abel entered the room. In only a pair of sweatpants. This was the first time I'd ever been in the same room with a shirtless man. Without a second thought I covered my eyes with my hands and turned so that my back was facing him. I heard his husky chuckle as he approached me.

"You're still the same good girl, I remember. No matter how hard you try to hide it."

"You know nothing."

"Fine, prove me wrong," when I made no move he leaned in so that his lips brushed against my ear, "do something naughty."

I gasped at the dirty word and turned to face him. A squeak of surprise left me when I realized how close his face was to mine. Judging from the look on Abel's face, I was never going to live this down.

Unless...

All sane thought disappeared as I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. My arms remained around his neck as I leaned back to access his reaction. That was sort of naughty right? I mean, considering I'm supposed to hate this man. Kissing him on the cheek seemed like a naughty thing to do, five seconds ago.

I could tell by the look on Abels face that he wasn't sure what to do. He looked like he wanted to laugh, but at the same time he looked like he just wanted to kiss me senseless. Before I could pull away Abel reached up and wrapped his hands tightly around my wrists.

"How about I show you how it's done, hm?"

I opened my mouth to protest but all that came out was a gasp, when he pulled us both onto the bed and flipped us over. He landed on top of me, holding my wrists above my head. Now I am a drama freak. I have seen this scene play out in so many of my favorite dramas.

And I am not having crazy sex with this man.

"Nope, no no," I started mumbling like crazy as I realized how much of a temptation Abel really is for me.

A hot half naked guy is on top of me.

Even I know when I'm in way over my head. He is breaking so many of my rules right now. Hell, he's making me break my own rules. As a strong feminist I am sorry to say that this barbarian act is turning me on.

"I've missed you," he said, ignoring my mumbling and gazing down at me as if I were a majestic unicorn.

"You haven't missed me," I replied coldly, "you've missed having a toy to play with."

"No, I've missed you," judging by the look on his face he looked like he was about to continue, but I decided to interrupt him.

"I was your favorite toy wasn't I? I'm pretty sure I was the easiest one to break," a thoughtful look crossed my features as I pondered the thought, "The other ones probably lasted longer, but nope not me. I was like a fragile porcelain doll that you weren't supposed to play with. A doll you knew you shouldn't touch, because you'd have to be gentle or the doll would break. But you wanted to see how long this stupid doll would last before breaking."

Before I could continue, he used his free arm to cover my mouth.

"No you foolish little girl. I've missed the girl I fell in love with. The innocent girl who didn't like saying bad words. The girl who flinched every time someone said something indecent. The girl who'd scold me every time I drank or smoked," he removed his hand from my mouth and I didn't say anything as I stared at him with glistening eyes, "I missed you."

I didn't even give myself a chance to ponder over his pretty words. Because I knew if I did, I'd melt in his arms and let him have me. Abel was an expert at charming girls with his pretty words. He was an expert at lying and that thought filled me with anger.

"You don't know what it's really like to miss someone. You have no idea how much it hurts to miss someone! Because I never left you," I said angrily, "you left me! You broke me! You had no right in hell to miss me, because you were the one who left!"

And just when I thought I was done talking too much, I continued, "you chose her."

With those last words, I couldn't contain my tears any longer.