The Girl He Left Behind

•14•

Memories hurt.

They make you wish you had amnesia. They make you wish you never made them in the first place. They're yet another thing you created to harm yourself.

You knew loving him would only lead to pain. Yet you loved him anyway. You let him make you the happiest girl in the world, knowing one day he wouldn't be in your world.

We're all masochists looking for happiness in things that cause us pain.

•

I miss my Abel.

I hate to admit it. It literally pains me to admit it. But my Abel was sweet and gentle. My Abel loved me and treated me with love.

My Abel was a fable disguised as the prettiest reality.

This Abel treats me with some weird form of love, hatred and pain. This Abel was rough and dominant. A dominance he had clearly kept at bay before, when we were young.

This motherfucking Abel had me tied to a bed, spread out in the tiniest lace babydoll gown. Not to mention the lingerie underneath. I had to admit, the black lace was flattering beneath the see through babydoll.

But I don't want to appear attractive to him!

I don't want to be at his mercy.

With that thought in mind I began tugging at the restraints. Bruising my ankles and wrists in the process, but I continued. He will not have his way with my body, just because he's some big bad gangster. I blame myself for getting myself into this position. I provoked him, I pushed every button I could think of to anger him and he snapped. Like any normal person would, the minute I mentioned the amount of better men I'd rather fuck he was in the front seat driving us back to my new cage.

To my new prison.

But if he thinks for one second that he can keep me locked here forever, he's very wrong. He may very well be the love of my life, but that by no means means I will allow him to harm me again.

"Mi reina,"he said, his eyes on me as he slowly walked into the room, like a predator getting ready to pounce, "I know you must think I'm crazy," he ran a hand through his hair, making me clench my hands into fists as the urge to touch his soft hair bit at me, "I know I fucked up. I hurt you, the one good thing I had. You're right to hate me, but I'm not making the same mistake again. I want us to come to an agreement."

My eyes quickly flitted back to him as he stood there, a black jacket that hugged his biceps in just the right way and his hair, damn his hair. Smoothed over with no gel, leaving him looking oh so-

Damn it. I really need to keep my priorities straight. And loving Abel again? Definitely not anywhere on my agenda. Letting myself love his body would be just the beginning.

"What agreement?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Give me a month."

"A month of what exactly?" I growled, tugging at the restraints as I fought the urge to cover myself.

"A month to get you to trust me again, to get you to love me again."

"Okay, now let me go."

As if he could ever get me to love him again.
But at least this way I'll be free to roam and leave in a month.

Before I realized what was happening, he was above me, tying something around my eyes. I gasped and struggled more against the handcuffs that bound me. Great, now I can't move and I can't see. Didn't realize things could actually get worse.