The Collision Theory of Love

11 | New Beginnings

[Katherine]

"Enjoy your date, Lara!" After waving off Lara as she leaves with Jack, I head back inside my room. The silence is deafening and it's loud in my mind. I sit by the window and sink in the depth of my thoughts. Just a cool breeze caressing my face.

At some point in life, our emotions are brutally murdered. We realize that to love someone isn't enough of a cause to make them stay. The sweet memories from the past make their way into my mind and make me feel nauseated. Each of them hitting, like a bullet right across my heart, and causing acute pain.

I was bid unsaid goodbye by Daniel. Making me realize I wasn't even worth to be notified. I kept lying each day to myself, promising that he will come back. But with each passing day, this turned into a bitter truth.

When I see him now a part of me wants to grab him by his collar, shout at him for leaving me without an explanation, ask where he has been, how he has been, did he ever spare any thought about me!

But it doesn't make any sense now. The person I was in love with is left behind somewhere in the past and deep in my heart, I had his funeral too. As I get carried away in his thoughts. I sense his presence in me. Not as a part of me, but avoid that will persist forever.

Anger seeps through my veins as I think of the mess I had created of myself when Daniel left me, those daily battles I fought with myself to stand again. How I struggled to collect all those broken pieces of my heart and trying to put them back in places. How my fragile soul bears those bruises given by the one whom I loved to the core. I remember crying alone on the cold bathroom floor to subside the pain escaping from my throat.

Here I am today standing alone and strong through all these years. Somehow moments of pain transformed me into another person. Maybe be there's still a part of me that longs for his presence. But he has done his share of making me feel vulnerable and now the walls around my heart won't deflate. I have come a long way and there's no turning back. There's no place left in my life for the person who once abandoned me when he was the only I wanted to cherish forever. No more hiding now.

It's about the time I give myself another chance to live, laugh, and maybe someday..... to love.