It Gets Hard Sometimes (Camren)

Chapter 15

Lauren's pov

The show was over and Camila, Ally, Mani, Dinah and I were all sitting in our room backstage. They were having problem with the bus so we had to wait until they fixed it. They are 45 minutes over time and right now, I think we're all just praying we'll get to our next destination in time for our next show.

Dinah was sleeping with her head in Mani's lap, while Ally slept on the one seater couch. She looked very uncomfortable.

The rest of us sat on our phones, each of us doing different things. I, for one, was scrolling through tumblr. It's quite old and I know that, but some of the things I see just touch me, and I can relate to them so much.

I subconciously looked over to Camila. Her face was lit up by her phone screen and she was smiling down at it. She looked beautiful.

As always.

After about 20 minutes, our bus driver, Tabz, knocked on the door and told us the bus was ready. Slowly, with a lot of complaining from Dinah and Ally, we all got up and made our way to the bus. Once we all got there, we got ready for bed and settled in our bunks.

I was lying there for about half an hours before I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be getting any sleep, so quietly climbed out of my bunk and made my way to the back room.

I guess you can say I was more than surprised to find a tired looking Camila sitting on the small sofa. She jumped as I walked in, her eyes wide, matching mine.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," an interrupted, smiling. I returned the small gesture and moved to sit next to her, but not too close. I still don't know what she thinks of me. So I sat on the other end of the small sofa.

"Can't sleep?" I asked her. She nodded her head.

"Too much on mind, I guess," she said softly, but loud enough so that I could hear her. I turned my head to her so I could see her properly. Her head lay in her right hand, which was rested against the back of the sofa. She was staring at the place in front of her, avoiding looking at me.

"Me too," I whispered back. Camila tilted her head slightly, so that she was looking at me through the bottom of her eyes, but still not meeting my gaze.

It was silent for a while, neither of us saying anything. It wasn't uncomfortable, but there were unsaid things between us and it was killing me. But my cowardly self kicked in, and I was too afraid to speak up. I just carried on looking, and she carried on looking between the space in front of her, and sneaking glances at me from under her eyes.

It was absolute torture.

Maybe it was just me feeling these things, I don't know. I always tend to overthink things, sometimes to such an extreme that I know the outcome would be impossible, but I do it anyway. But that's one of the things Camila and I share in common, our ability to overthink to a point of absolute insanity.

That's what gave me the hope that she wasn't saying anything because she was thinking too. Thinking about what I said to her, but then again, she was most probably upset over it. I mean, I can't blame her, can I? I completely broke her, again and again, time after time.

I hurt her.

I hurt her and then I confessed that I nearly really got over her.

Not really anyway.

"Lauren," Camila finally whispered, shakily. My eyes looked up, hopeful, searching her face for any sign of what she was about to say. "Did you really mean what you said?" She asked, her eyes slowly rising to finally meet mine. She also looked around, trying to find something in me that wouldn't come out through my mouth.