Revenge Of The Glee Club

19. "And the Winner is...

... Vocal Adrenaline. I liked their tribute to this great city of Chicago," Mayor Ronald Trumpet announced, pulling out his phone.

Mayor Trumpet had recently been voted into office after narrowly defeating a cartoon mouse. His slogan was 'I stand for nothing', which for some reason struck a chord with voters. He now had his eye on running for the Oval Office.

"Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing?" Mick Jaggered Little Pill asked. Mick was a washed up drag artist who specialised in performing Alanis Morissette songs to Rolling Stones tunes. Strangely enough, he was never that popular.

"I'm announcing the winner to my followers on Twitter of course," Ronald replied as he began typing.

"But we haven't voted on a winner yet!" Mick exclaimed horrified.

"We need to vote?" Ronald replied seriously, putting down his phone.

"Yes. We live in a democracy. Of course we need to vote," Lea Michele said. Lea was taking time off from promoting her new album to be the special celebrity judge at this year's Nationals.

"We do?"

"Yes. In case you haven't noticed, Mick and I are also judges and we get a say," Lea replied.

"You do? So that's how democracy works..." Ronald said. "I've always thought decisions were made by the person who yelled the loudest."

Mick rolled his eyes. "I think we're all in agreement that the top three acts are Vocal Adrenaline, the New Directions and the Portland Scale Blazers."

"Because of Vocal Adrenaline's tribute to our great city, I think they should win," Ronald said.

"That's your choice. However, just because Vocal Adrenaline performed songs by a band called Chicago, it doesn't mean they were paying tribute to the city itself. They were actually paying tribute to the band. However, I tend to agree. Vocally, they were outstanding. And I loved the solo by Unique. I thought changing the lyrics from 'I'm a Man' to 'I'm a woman' was very clever... and very brave."

"So you're trying to tell me Vocal Adrenaline weren't paying tribute to our great city?" Ronald replied. "In that case, I'm putting them last. Obviously if they're not for us, they're against us."

"I'm not exactly sure I follow your reasoning, but moving on. Lea?" Mick asked.

"Perhaps Vocal Adrenaline were paying tribute to both the city and the band," Lea suggested.

"Anyway. I thought they were very good too," she continued. "However, I don't think their choreography was up to their usual high standards. This year, I actually thought the New Directions were better. And of course, Rachel Berry's singing was spectacular. You could really tell she was feeling the pain in every note. Although I of course, could do better."

"This isn't about you, Lea. Besides, you only like the New Directions because of your uncanny resemblance to Rachel Berry," Mick argued.

"That's not true!" Lea exclaimed. "Well, I must admit that I do look a bit like her, but that's not why I think they should win. Overall, I just thought they were better than everyone else."

"But what about the fruit loop who got up on stage with them?" Ronald asked. "It totally ruined their performance. That's exactly why I want to build a wall around Chicago. To keep people like him out!"

"Funny, I always thought the wall was to keep people in?" Mick said. "So the rest of America could be safe."

"Really?" Ronald said, looking confused.

"You do realise that the 'fruit loop' is actually the Principal of William McKinley High, right?" Lea said.

"What? The same school that the New Directions are from?" Ronald asked.