Scarlet Shadows || Kaisoo

Chapter 11 | Damn.

"I-"
I just waited for him to complete it.
"Can you stay here so I feel less alone?"
I bit down on my lower lip to stop myself from smiling, but damn the blood rushed to my cheeks and I knew I was red as a tomato*. I couldn't meet his eyes so I just nodded really vaguely and sat there awkwardly.
"Eh thanks for picking me up from the library."
Picking him up what engrish-
"Picking you up what are you trash?" I said, a tiny laugh escaping from my mouth.
"Yeah, trash. That's what he called me."
He? Who he? I just waited for him to explain but he steered way off track
"What do you think of me?" he asked, out of nowhere. Okay what what what does this mean does he know how am I supposed to answer god where are you "Um, you are-" I couldn't choose my words.
"You can't even answer. Well I wouldn't blame you. I'm used to it. I'm used to being called a monster. Being called the illegitimate. Being called all sorts of cruel things. People never understood me, I was always, always fucking alone because people believed him."
Who is this Him?
"I'm always so lost, and yes I was wanting someone, wanting someone to find me; but she left me too."
She, oh god save me.
"It's so tiring, you know. Tiring to keep up people's expectations, tiring to always work your ass off to make them smile, tiring to stop everyone from screwing around, tiring to be someone else, tiring to never have your voice heard, tiring to always be the silent sufferer. It's so fucking tiring, TIRING TO LIVE!" He screamed and threw the plate of food in angst. I could feel my palms sweating, I didn't know what to do and it was so nerve wracking that I would've almost fainted, but he continued.
This time, a calm demeanor swept over him, and he dropped down to the floor. My knees fell down on the floor, right beside him, and I could see him drowing himself in his own pool of tears.
"Why are we treated differently? Why doesn't society like us? Because we aren't made by them? Why? Why are we messed with, why aren't our emotions respected? Why? Just fucking WHY?!" He muffled and I inched a little closer to him. My heart was hurting so much that it was as though, he stabbed me a million times. I've never seen Jongin so shaken up. So..full of emotions. So sad and so vulnerable and in need.
"Jongin.." I put my arms around him and in an instant, my back was on the floor and he was on me.
Fuckery fuck fuck what.

What I thought would happen, quite precisely, did not happen.
The minute my back was against the floor, yeah the usual bullshit like my heart racing and all that happened, but my mind was trying to actually process what the actual fuck is going on. Jongin literally transformed from utter serious to super sad to extremely violent HOW. is he a transformer* I couldn't understand what was happening. I froze on spot and just played almost dead, and then, then he looked up and, his eyes.
I actually froze.
They were blood red, and the same wing kind of thing erupted from his back. He breathed down on me and pressed down my shoulders with his hands, his nails painfully digging into my skin. He let out a loud wail but spoke nothing. I was sweating buckets and the adrenaline really kicked in that I had the nerve to "try" to push him.
I actually did I'm not thaaat weak.
I barely pushed him and was on my heel to sprint for my life and the next thing I knew was my back against shattered glass. His hand was gripping me by my neck and I felt suffocated. I felt queasy and nauseous and a whole lot of uncomfortable things. Hot tears were stinging the back of my eyes and I could feel every single shard of glass piercing through my skin, the smell of my own blood sickening me.

It felt like an infinite trap of pain. Of violence. And I felt like I was being ripped into a million bits; the pain was excruciating. My head started spinning and the last thing I saw, or stared into, was his red, fiery eyes that were determined to kill me.

Is it going to end even before it begins?
-

A/N
** The references I had to mention them!~
God i hope the next chapter makes you cry
-authornim