Scarlet Shadows || Kaisoo

Chapter 24 | Loved You Right

"Our only problem is Suho, you know that don't you?"
"It's upto you as to how to make subjects of research reach me."
"You know what will happen when we get exposed, don't you?
Xiumin secretively kept whispering to someone over the phone. Honestly, I don't know when he became this kind of a monster..? Not quite, but it's still scary.
When I first met Xiumin, during one of my golf practices, he was this walking sunlight, if I should be accurate. I never thought of myself to be attracted to a man, considering how much of an ulzzang* (extremely good looking) I was. He was always nice to me, and always cheered me on for I've always been the morbid kind.

For most of the time where we've been aware of our feelings for each other, we've never held secrets, like never. To begin with, I didn't have much secrets, but he seemed to have a lot. And at one point, I thought, okay so I do know everything right now.

Right after we promised forever, I knew I was wrong.
~
"Luhan?" I heard Xiumin calling for me.
I went and sat across him.
"What do you think of the boy we met last night?"
What does he mean, what do I think? I absolutely know that he's just another one of Xiumin's..,* "Um, Lu? I'm waiting for an answer."
"Uh, um, he, he seems very worried about his boyfriend and and, very intelligent too."
He sneered at my comment and I quickly tried to change the topic, "Who were you with on the phone earlier?" I probed.
That's the thing I have. I'm too timid, or rather scared to talk to people, not just new or acquainted, people in general. But when it comes to Xiumin, I know I can ask him the most weirdest shit and still not anger him.
"Nothing that should concern you" he smiled coldly, one of his you-better-gtfo-now smiles.
That's the thing with me.
I try. I try when it comes to him. I try even though I know I'll never get an answer and that I'll probably be locked away in this silence.
It's all changed now. He is always locked up in his lab. I wonder, every day, what is that much of a world secret that he hides that he even fired his two assistants just in case things get berserk. He works alone, all the time, and some nights, I hear laughters, some nights I hear bottles getting broken, doors being slammed, curses flying around. Indeed, he treats me the same, he's the same nice Xiumin to me.
But his love isn't warm anymore.
It's cold.
Cold and distant.
~
Dear Diary,
I'm back after so long, aren't I? To write all of what happened will be suicide, let me tell you. Because so much of unrealistic shit happened, I think I'm playing some Otome game. Jongin is slowly losing his power and I can't figure out if it's lightening his spirits, or making his heart heavier. On the other hand, Sehun is really worrying me. I'm just placing all my bets on whatever Dr. Xiumin tells me. Luhan seemed like a timid guy, surprising that Xiumin would like someone like him.
Are ghouls generally really confusing or these two make an exception?
Jongin, god I'm so worried for that boy.   I am literally crossing my fingers that he'd be out without any trouble.
Honestly, I just feel so guilty, because if you do look at it, all of it is because I loved him and somehow he accidentally reciprocated it. If I'd never known him or loved him*, none of this would've actually happened*. Because I'm the one people use to get to him..
Maybe this can solve the problem?**
~
I was walking down the hallway when I suddenly recollected what Dr. Xiumin asked me to do. He wanted a clear picture or a sketch of that symbol on Jongin's chest. How the hell am I supposed to get that?!

I was drowning in my own thoughts when someone jabbed my shoulder. "Krys! Long time no see?" I fisted her(kinda?)
She was extra hyper today, I wonder why.
"Kyung, Kyung, Kyung," she repeated like she'd run a marathon and is begging for water.
"Jeez what? What's up, you seem very pumped today?"
"You know that guy I had a crush onnnnnnnn" she pulled at my sleeves.
"Ew, who?"
"You know, Jong-" *
"Jongin." I cut her off.
"Not Jongin, why would I crush on your boyfriend although he looks like a snack-" wow my friend really should learn to shut up.
He was standing right there and staring at me in a molester kinda loving way? I don't know how to explain it, but I do remember the work I have at hand before I do it.*

"Shall we go home?" Jongin held out his hand.,, okayyy this is creepy.
~
This was the first time in so long that I actually am seeing his house, if I am allowed to use such a word. It wasn't exactly house because he lives in those normal student hideouts that you get for cheap rents. Despite it being quite small, it was neat, thanks to that my OCD was perfectly centered.

I told him I'd freshen up a bit and he'd have my coffee ready. I came back to find him dozing away happily in the couch. Poor guy, he must've been drained. I slowly creeped up on him, sat beside him in the little space left on the couch, and slowly pushed his already open shirt to the side, where I could see the symbol. I clicked the picture, and just then, literally just then, he grabbed hold of my hand.
Phew.
"Taking pictures of your sleeping boyfriend is a strict no-no." He smiled.
God, why would you do this to me.
If he smiles so preciously, how can I  even bring myself to do what I planned on doing?
It's for him.
I forced my wrist out of his hold, and his face shrunk.
"Something wrong?"
"Nope, I'm just a little tired. I should probably get going, Jongin." I said.
"Just stay the night. Take the bed, I'll take the couch. We'll just leave to school together?"
I nodded and walked towards the bed.

Tomorrow, then.
_________________

Well what can I say, Kaisoo are being headasses, and I HAVE SO MUCH IN STORE(?) ((hopefully if I don't forget what I made up tonight))
Stay updated!
-authornim.

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