Alone

The Meanig of Life and Mental Illnes

Noelle's POV

I believe that people over think the meaning of life. In my AP English class we have to write an essay centered on the meaning of life. I remember in 5th grade a read a book, Jeremy Fink and the meaning of life. I don't recall the ending but the whole thing is about a 13 year old boy trying find the keys to a box with the meaning of life inside. Through out the book I had one idea in my head about what was going to be in that box.  It was going to be something philosophical. Philosophy has always amused me. People now a days will over think why we are here. They will go into detail and spiral off. Maybe it's to fulfill a goal set by a deity, be the best you can be, or maybe make it to heaven. In my theory, I disregard all the gods. That is an unsolved debate. I don't believe the Christian, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, or any other religion has got it right. But I also don't believe atheists. They claim there isn't a god because you can't see one. But that doesn't mean there isn't one. There isn't enough evidence behind either of the claims for me to pick a side. Culturally, yes, I'm Jewish. But that doesn't mean I will take on their beliefs. So I am undecided about what belief to support. Each group has a theory, and I have mine. I believe that humans came from the apes which can from the fish and the bacteria and such. And I believe that we aren't here to read and write and have iPhones. I think we were just another part of the echo system that rapidly advanced. The meaning of life is to reproduce and make more life. Not to control entire countries or pollute a planet so much that people are seriously considering moving to another planet. I think we were supposed to take care and support our echo system. We are just advanced monkeys.

I accept the fact that I might be wrong. I understand that 99 % of science is failing and trying again. But that one present is still a possibility so why not put forth your ideas. Maybe we should over think it. Take years of courses of moral philosophy and study the pasts and how narcissists can be narcissistic. This is all a confusing idea. And I just found out the C is and average grade because most people are dumb. Dumbs not the word it's supposed to be average.

And after all of this thinking I can't think of what to put down on my paper. This could be diagnosed as dysgraphia.

dys·graph·i·a
disˈɡrafēə/
noun
     inability to write coherently, as a symptom of brain disease or damage

I find this definition offensive or incorrect. It displays dysgraphia as a brain disease or damage. First of all I was born with this. I'm not damaged because I can't put my thoughts down one paper. It is a learning disability. If someone is in a wheelchair you wouldn't call them damaged. My sister with borderline personality disorder isn't damaged.

Borderline personality disorder: a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable intense relationships, distorted self-image, extreme emotions and impulsiveness.

She causes damage. She gave my brother PTSD.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

I think without BPD my sister would still be a terrible person. It's hard to hate your sister. But it's even harder for my mom to hate her daughter. Her daughter that will stay with her for the rest of her life, causing stress and needing to be taken care of. She's capable of being alone but she has a need for attention.