Alone

Buying Lunch n' Being a Dork

"People complain about the use of technology today. But it really helps people every day, around the world you know like when you Instagram stalk your crush, " Alex says walking up behind me. I leave to app. "I wasn't stalking her she just posted a picture and I liked it. " I tell him. "Whatever you say." Alex replies. The bell rings. I run to class and I'm the first one there. After passing period I head to my bed seat. Great, I think, I have to deal with Josh. He gives me trouble every day. I liked it better when nobody noticed me. I used to just blend in but then I got in a fight because I was trying to stand up for myself. Now people give me trouble.

I get to class and sit down next to Alex. Josh is on my other side. Great, he showed up. I get out my binder and take out my work as our teacher starts to lecture us. Josh get up out of his seat and knocks all my papers on the floor. Noelle looks at me from across the room. I look down and pick up my papers. Josh goes to the trash can and throws away his work. When he comes back I mumble "thanks" sarcastically. He smiles a really big fake smile. I hate him. Eva walks in the room. She's late for class. She always is. She give Josh a flirty smile. I don't understand what girls see in him. I guess he does look classically attractive. But you can't talk about anything important with out him saying noice or dope. He is one of those people that you either love or hate. No in between. If your his friend, popular, or a pretty girl then you will most likely love him. Because those are the people he's nice to. If your a geek or unpopular the you'll most likely hate him cause he'll be mean to you. Noelle is one of the exceptions. She's popular and a pretty girl but still hates him. He's himself with her. Well at least he's nice to her just like every popular kid. But Noelle sees the way he treats other people. She's not as self obsessed as the other popular girls. That's why she's so kind to me, I think. She's kind to everyone. She's nice unless you're mean to her. She can be really rude sometimes.

Today I waited in line with her to buy lunch. We talked the entire time. We always have a consistent conversation. As we got to the the food we both look disappointed when we see it's mystery meat. Or in other words everything in the freezer mushed together somehow overcooked and covered in ice. "Would it kill them to make one type of meat?" Noelle says to me. I laugh. It wasn't funny but she was talking to me and that makes me happy. Just thinking about my life I feel like such a dork.

At lunch Noelle walked over to her friends, the popular kids, and that's my cue to leave. I head over to Nathan and Alex. I leave the cafeteria and walk behind the gym. I see them where we always eat, on the bleachers. We sit far away from the side of the bleachers that's the pot heads smoke at. I put my fork in the meat and spin it around. "Is this it for us?" I ask Alex and Nathan. "Is this what we are gonna do for the rest of high school? Every day?" I continue. "I dunno," Alex responds. We do the same thing everyday. Go to school. Hang out together. Then go home and do homework. We're stuck.

•••

I get to class and I see Ronald talking with the popular kids. Ronald was my best friend in elementary school. After that we drifted apart. He was a church geek. Thats a whole different crowd. Halloween is coming up and I hear them discussing horror movies. I'm baffled at how kids like Josh and Angelo would talk to a guy like him. My jaw almost drops when I see Lenard join the conversation.

"Look who stepped out of their bubble" I hear. It's Noelle. After I put together that she's talking to me about Ronald and Lenard I respond. "Yeah, uh, what could be the cause of that?"

"I don't know" She replies. Ronald sits down next to me. I whisper to him, "What was that about?" He looks puzzled. "What?" He replied. "You know, talking with the popular kids." I tell him. "We're friends," he says as Noelle rolls her eyes. "Since when," she joins our conversation. Ronald shrugs, "I dunno." We all head back to work