The Taste of Loneliness a wdw fanfic

Nightmare

I stared blankly at the ceiling.

Why did the dream have to come back?

This same question kept repeating in my mind non-stop until the next morning, I realized I didn't sleep after the nightmare.

It was the same dream that had been haunting me for years.

I woke up to take a shower.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked horrible.

Eyes red, eye bags and dark circles under them. Face looking pale and lips chapped.

I was dead inside out.

After a quick hot shower, I felt better.

But the dream in my mind was still playin' wild.

I took out my laptop and opened YouTube.

NO NOTIFICATIONS.

I refreshed the page again and repeated before giving up and went to down for breakfast.

"Morning..., Jessica!" Jonah shouted from the living room.

I ignored once and went to the kitchen.

"MUM!!" I yelled.

"Oh, hello honey. Here, have some pancakes"

"Ok" I said without even looking at her face.

"Jessica, are you okay dear?"Mum said in a soft tone with her hand making contact with mine.

"Mhmm"

"Jessica! I'm being serious. Look at me!"She said strictly.

I turned to her, trying to control my tears.

"Tell me" she said feeling concerned.

"What happened? Honey, I'm here just for you"

"Nah, just on my period" I lied.

I just don't want anyone to know about this.

I just want to keep it to myself.

I told her that I was okay and continued eating breakfast.

At noon, I was on my bed lying with my hands and legs wide opened like a starfish.

I stared at the ceiling blankly.

Though my mind wasn't fully blank.

There were lots of things that I wanted to say but I couldn't pick the right words to describe them all.

For a moment, I was sad. I was all emo with broken feelings as if I just broke up with someone. All I wanted to do was tuck myself in the bed, wrap myself with my blanket, listen to sad songs all day with a bowl of chocolates in my lap while cry so hard that my tear glands would burst at the end of the day.

The other moment, I was scared. Scared of something. The feelings were so familiar.

The next minute, I'm all panicked and depressed. Anxiety attack all the way.

So I spent my noon by crying under the covers so no one would hear me.

I stopped crying only when I got up to the toilet and saw myself in the mirror.

I looked like a depressed mother who lost her child in a carnival.

I washed my face and waited for my red eyes to turn normal (if that made sense).

I turned on the computer and straight went to check my notifications in my Instagram DMs.

No new messages.

So, I went to Twitter and tweeted "I have no life. What is, life when you're dead inside out"

I had nothing else to do, so I went up to my playlists and chose a random song.

I had to change a few times to get the right song.

But eventually ended up listening to sad songs which made me even more sad.

It was dark when I realized I had slept in my bed for a few hours. I wasn't sure what time I slept and what time it was when I woke up.

The music from my laptop was no longer can be heard because the battery had died.

I went to take a quick shower until I heard someone was knocking on my door.

"Jessica, watcha doin in there?! Dinner's ready!"

I told Jonah to give me a minute and went down quickly after that.

As soon as I went down everyone was at the table waiting for me. But when they saw me, they had that we-need-to-talk-come-and-get-your-bloody-ass-in-your-seat face.

As I sat in my seat, Dad cleared his throat and looked at me sharp in the eyes.

"Honey, is everything alright? We all think that you might need some people to talk to", said Dad.

"Talk what? Why do you guys look deadly serious?" I replied.

"Well, anything you wanna share with us?" again he said.

"Um, no..I'm..fine..", I laughed nervously.

"Oh come on, Jessica! Stop playing around! Tell us now, what is it?!" Jonah shouted.

"Jonah! That is not how you do it! Honey, I heard you crying in your room..and it hurts when.." said Mum softly.

Tears started flowing down my cheeks.

"I told you that I'm okay!"

That was my last line before running upstairs again and slammed my door loud enough that I think our neighbors heard.