Moon Written

eighty five.

"Celine, are you hungry by any chance?" Marina asked as she walked into the room, I shrugged and ran my hands through my damp hair, basking in the fact that I'm finally clean.

"Come on, I know you are — I haven't seen you eat since Goddess know's when." She said before walking closer towards me and taking hold of my hand, I gasped and reluctantly nodded my head.

"Good." She stated while giving me a stern look and pulling me with her out of her room, I couldn't help but feel my knees wobble.

I was scared, I can't even deny it.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, this time letting go of my hand and standing beside me as we walked, I gulped and hugged my upper body.

"I'm so scared, Marina... so scared." I whispered croakily, feeling my throat clog up as I thought of everything thats been happening in my messed up life, Marina sighed and tensed up beside me.

"Me too." Was her broken response and oddly enough, I found truth in her words — especially when I looked at her through the corner of my eye to see her fallen face and frowning lips making my stomach churn.

"I just — I don't know what to do anymore. I might not even have long until I pass and the spirit takes over completely-" I paused to take in a shaky breath, feeling my heartbeat increase.

"I can feel it, you know? I can feel its anger and rage, I can feel every emotion of mine that its managed to twist into something so sick — killing my wolf in the process." I continued slowly, tapping my fingers against my arms as I hugged myself comfortingly — my voice was hoarse and thick with fallen emotions.

"I want — I want to be able to live and love freely, but everything I do has a consequence, good or bad. Everyday I have an inner battle with myself, I hallucinate like crazy and I can feel my life slipping away and I-" I paused when a sob managed to escape my lips instead of words before taking a deep breath.

"I don't want to die, Marina. I really don't. I just started living and it's not fair to me. I have a son Marina, a baby boy and he lost his mother twice, I can't bare having him alone in this cruel, cruel world. I don't want him to have the kind of life I did, I would love to give him the life I could've had, but I can't — everyone knows that I can't because I'm dying — I am so close to my own grave but the funny part is, my body will still be here but it won't be controlled by me. I don't want that — I-I don't wanna leave, not yet." I continued and by now I had paused, I wasn't moving and I wasn't even looking at anything other then the ground as I watched my tears fall onto the wooden floor rapidly.

"That won't h-happen. We'll try to do something!" Marina replied angrily, I scoffed and shook my head before wiping my tears away and raising my head to look at her own tearstained face.

"What?! What can we do to save me, that we haven't tried already?! Tell me, Marina because I would love to know!" I yelled out, my stomach clenching tightly as I struggled breathing. She sobbed and shook her head.

"I don't want to give you or myself false hope — and honestly, I lost hope long ago, and you should too." I whispered in a hoarse voice, feeling my throat get scratchy making me cough, she sighed and shook her head while cleaning her face with her hands, I looked away from her sadly.

"You know what? Let's just go eat and for one day, lets forget about this — this spirit inside of you." Marina stated sternly, I took in a shaky breath and hesitantly turned my gaze her way, she was still upset and her glossy eyes showed it, but she held a broken smile that I couldn't say 'no' to, so I nodded slowly.

And then we continued walking through the empty hallway, and down the stairs where a couple of pack members were chatting, and having fun.

Nobody paid me any mind and I was happy for that, I was happy that I could for once not be the center of attention.