The Cost Of Love (Bxb, Rape, Abuse)

Closure?

Austin woke up the next morning on Ryan's lap. He remembered falling asleep on Shelly's lap but now he woke up on Ryan's. Maybe it was just a horrible nightmare. He had nightmares that felt real before, maybe this was one of them. Until he sat up and the pain shot through his ass. Then it hit home that it wasn't a nightmare and the reality and guilt set in.

"You okay?" Ryan asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"No." Austin replied as tears started to form.

"Talk to me about it." Ryan said as he pulled Austin closer to him.

Austin nuzzled his face in the cure of Ryan's neck. "I feel horrible."

"That's understandable after what happen to you."

"No, I mean I feel as if I failed you. Again, Eric was able to take control of me and I was powerless to stop him."

"You didn't fail me or anyone else. Austin, you have been treated like shit for so long that it's hard for you to stand up for yourself. I saw the crazed look in his eyes that night at the motel. I can't imagine what it was like living with him for all those years the way he treaded. As long as you stay here, I'm going to make sure you can be independent."

It was around 9:30am when there came a knock at the door, it was officer Sheppard.

"Mornin' officer Sheppard, what can I help you with?" Shelly asked as she let him in.

"Morning Mrs. Davenport, early this morning, around 2:30 we got a report of a car that had gone off the road that matched the description of Austin's ex. When an officer arrived they found him lying outside of his car and he was pretty messed up. He is at the regional medical center in stable condition."

"Oh my, is there anythin' we can do?"

"I just wanted to talk to Austin and see if he wanted to file charges against Eric. Now that he is at the hospital it makes it a lot easier."

"Austin is in the shower right now; if you can wait a few minutes I'll go and get him."

Shelly returned about five minutes later with Austin following close behind her. Officer Sheppard explained the situation to Austin and asked him what he wanted to do. Austin thought for a few minutes before he told Officer Sheppard that he wanted to go and see Eric in the hospital. Austin figured he would at least try to talk to Eric before he filed any charges. Officer Sheppard agreed to escort Austin down to the hospital.

While Austin was in his room getting ready Ryan walked in and sat on the bed.

"Are you sure that you are going to be okay going to see Eric?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, you'll be there with me so I'll be okay. Besides he is in a hospital bed hooked up to machines. I want to try and talk to him once more before I file charges."

"I think it's a mistake going to see him, but if that's what you want to do then I support you. I just don't want you to get hurt, again." Ryan said as tears filled his eyes.

Austin saw the tears in Ryan's eyes and sat next to him. "Don't blame yourself for what happen yesterday. I shouldn't have let my guard down like I did. You and your family have been the best thing to happen to me in a long time, I am forever grateful. You've protected me and shown me that there are still good people out there." Austin said as he lightly kissed Ryan's lips.

"But I didn't protect you yesterday." Ryan said as he hung his head.

"You couldn't have followed me everywhere, that's no way to live. Come on we better get going. I don't want to keep officer Sheppard waiting."

When they arrived at the hospital, they made their way to Eric's room. Before they entered, Austin stopped and asked Ryan and officer Sheppard to kindly wait in the hall. Ryan was very uneasy letting Austin go in alone but he knew at the first raised voice he was going through that door. When Austin opened the door there was Eric, lying in the bed hooked up to all kinds of machines. Kind of ironic how just a few months ago Austin was the one lying in the hospital hooked up to the very same machines. Austin walked over to him and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"What are you doing here?" Eric said sarcastically.

"I came to talk to you." Austin replied.

"I have nothing to say to you." Eric snapped.

"I didn't say I wanted you to talk. I said I have some things to say to you, and you're going to listen. I came here to ask you to send my personal paper work down. I am not nor ever going back with you. For the past four years, you have treated me like a slave. You've beat me, raped me, you've made me feel stupid and made me feel as if I am the reason your life isn't what you wanted it to be. However, you are the one who is in control of your life not anyone else, and that's why I'm taking control of my life now. Eric I love you and always will, even with what you have done to me, but I'm not in love with you."

"How do you think I got in this hospital? How do you think my car went off the road? Your little slut boy out there ran me off the road then dragged me from my car."

"I know he did, but you want to know something, karmas a bitch. I don't believe in violence but sometimes someone needs a taste of their own medicine, and I think you got a good dose. Now I don't want to file charges against you cause I know that will cause problems at your job and that is not what I'm after. All I want from you is my life back. I don't want to live the rest of my life scared that you are lurking around the next corner or behind the door. I hope that at some point in the future you will be able to find peace and happiness."

"Fine, I'll have them sent down. Just go away and leave me alone." Eric said with tears in his eyes.

"I want your word that you are going to stick to what you said."

"You have my word. When was the last time I went back on it?"

"Thank you." Austin said as he headed for the door. He stopped and walked back to Eric and bent down a kissed his forehead. "I will always love and care for you." And with that, he walked out the room.

Austin explained to officer Sheppard that he was not going to press charges and Eric was sending his personal paper work to him. Officer Sheppard advised Austin that he only has a limited amount of time to file charges. Austin understood but still didn't want to file them.

They rode in silence till Ryan couldn't wait any longer and finally spoke up.

"Do you really think he is going to do what he said?"

"I do. I think this was a wakeup call for him that you can't go around hurting people and treating them like crap."

"I hope, for his sake he does stick to his word."

The rest of the day went on without anything more being said about Eric. Even when they arrived home Shelly didn't ask, she got the feeling that in time she would find out what was said. Ryan asked Austin if he wanted to relax today but he declined and told him that he still wanted to help his mom out with the fair preparation. She told him that he didn't need to if he wasn't feeling up to it but he told her it would help keep his mind off of things.

Later that night Ryan found Austin sitting on the back porch looking at the stars.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Ryan asked as he took a seat next to him.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about how my life has changed over the past few years. I never thought I would end up here."

"Is that a good thing?" Ryan asked showing concern.

"Yes. I got to meet you." Austin said with a grin. "My mom always told me that things happen in your life for a reason, whether they are good or bad. If I never took the chance to run away I never would have found what true happiness is about."

"You know Austin, ever since you came into my life I found true happiness too. Ever since I met you at my mom's bar I knew there was something special about you. I know Eric has really hurt you in the past and I know that some ones word might be hard for you to believe, but I just want you to know that no matter what I would never lay a finger on you." Ryan said as he brushed the hair on the side of Austin head.

Ryan's touch sent a chill down Austin's spine, but this time it was a pleasant feeling. Austin leaned in and rested his head on Ryan's chest and listened to his heartbeat, the heartbeat of someone he knew loved him and never would harm him.

"Austin, I know you just officially broke up with Eric, and this might not be the right time but I'm going to take a chance and ask. I wanted to know if you would want to be my boyfriend?" Ryan asked nervously.

Austin sat there stunned. He never thought Ryan would ask him to be his boyfriend, not after everything Austin had been through. His silence made Ryan feel uneasy.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you." Ryan said as his heart sank.

"You're okay. I was just shocked that you want me to be your boyfriend."

"Why would that shock you?"

"Well, with everything I've been though. I have a lot of stupid phobias. I'm like a damaged package, who really wants someone who is so messed up."

"Even the most broken can be fixed with time and care, and if you let me I'd like to be the one to help put the pieces back together."

"I can't promise that I'm going to be the best boyfriend."

"As long as you are your true self and not something else that is all I ask." Ryan said as he kissed the top of Austin's head.

"Okay, I'd love to be your boyfriend." Austin said as he kissed Ryan on the lips.

As they sat on the porch, Austin thought to himself if dating Ryan was a good idea. He wondered if he could make Ryan truly happy. He didn't want this relationship to end up like the last one, but then again Ryan was nothing like Eric. Ryan was the kindest guy he had ever met. He figured the best thing was to take it one day at a time.