Dear Angie.

Chapter Ten Part Two

24th July 2007

Dear Angie,

Happy birthday, Angelissa. I'm sorry that I haven't written in so long. You haven't been forgotten, trust me, but after consulting Dr Harper he believes that it would be best that I stop or limit things adding to my nightmares. I've been given some medicine, and miraculously, the dreams have stopped altogether.

I am sorry for not telling you about them. They were so vivid and bloody that sometimes I vomited after I woke up. What is new, Angelissa?

I'm dating Anita now. The amount of sex we have would make Mother cringe. It's strange to hear her call me Luce sometimes. It's strange to hear the name Lia or Emilia, and turn to see that they were calling someone else. But this is who I am now. I don't quite get Anita sometimes. Sometimes it feels like she's a galaxy away, her thoughts different and difficult to understand, and sometimes it feels as though our minds are connected. Sometimes I think about Marius, and how I never realised how linked we were, and how much we understood each other. Or did we? Maybe I never understood him at all.

Maybe it's because Anita isn't so passionate about Science. I suppose that that is it. Marius and I lived and breathed it. She likes it, but she isn't enamoured by the mysteries of the universe, not like we were. I cannot imagine a life without the Sciences. How can one wake up and not look forward to being an observer of the finely tuned universe? There is so much to see, so much to observe and learn. It is my life's joy.

Yes, that must be it. I mustn't think about Marius, but I seem to breaking all my rules today.

I'm still working on the project, and so far the progress I've made has been exciting. I'm not moving as fast as I would have wanted to, but it's good enough. I've composed a piece for you, Angelissa. It's only a simple piece which I wrote down yesterday. I hope you like it. I know that that thought is irrational, considering that you're dead, but I do not know what happens to those who die. If only you were alive, Angie. If only you were alive.

I love you.

Love,

Lia

24th July 2008

Dear Angie,

17, huh? How does it feel? Awesome?

I've been accepted, Angelissa! I'm going to college in a couple of weeks. It feels bloody great. I haven't had a nightmare in two months, I've made good progress on the project and I'm going to college! I feel fantastic! Admittedly, if I had stayed in New York, I would have been celebrating last year, but I would have gone mad there, Ang. My present for you.... is the continuation of the piece I gave you last year. I didn't feel like it was complete, and I added more details. Maybe we can make this a tradition. I'll continue the piece every year.

Dr Harper reduced my dosage of my medicine, and has stopped my prescription of sleeping pills. I no longer need them to sleep, but I still feel a bit anxious and worried sometimes, and I work on my paper until two in the morning just to get myself to sleep. Sometimes, I'm exhausted and tired in the morning, but at least it's better than staying awake the entire night, terrified of falling asleep.

They're not nightmares. Not really. They're suppose

No, I'm not suppose to be talking about this.

I'm 17 this year, almost a legal adult in the eyes of the law. Luce Carlson is a step away from being an adult. I'm going to make it, Angie. I'm going to become a Scientist.

Take care.

Love,

Luce

24th July 2009

Dear Angie,

Happy birthday. I've continued the piece, and I've also made it suitable to be played on the violin. It's marvellous to see how it's evolved over the years. I've added more details, and it's become ever so intricate and complex.

18 years of age. I'm an adult now. I don't feel any different. I feel like.. me. I'm getting bored, Angelissa, of everything and everyone. Science is a beautiful thing, and the project is the only thing that really makes my life exciting. Even Anita is starting to become dull.

But that's life, I suppose.

Yours,

Luce Carlson

24th July 2010

Dear Angie,

Anita talks and talks, and all it does is bore me. Why did I ever find her fascinating? She blabbers and complains about how unaffectionate I am of her, yada, yada, yada. She's going to college, and that's great, fantastic, awesome. I'm just happy that it's a different college from mine. I don't think I could handle her 24/7. She has her uses, I suppose.

I've been playing around with the other students. Anita would be horrified if she knew, of course, what has happened in this bed. I'm almost tempted to film some of it and send it to her, just to get her to stop talking.

Professor T claims that I have an affinity for the Sciences and has insisted on me meeting with some big people. I couldn't say no. The thought excites me a lot. I must show them my work.

Anyway, happy birthday. I added to the piece.

Yours,

Luce Carlson

24th July 2011

Angie,

I have no time to write. Happy birthday.

-L.C

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