Dear Angie.

Chapter 11

15th August 2011

Angie,

Dr Harper has ordered me to confront the source of my nightmares one by one. I don't see why. I don't even have any anymore. 

But her treatments have worked, so I suppose that I shall follow it. I suppose the first step will be to.... write in you more often. And maybe read the letter that Marius left me. Perhaps I shall confront Claire and Marius. 

No. 

Call me a coward, Angelissa, but what incompetent idiot would go back to face a bunch of loony murderers? Face such wretched feelings? 

Most humans are animals. They are pigs, slightly more intelligent perhaps, but disgusting creatures nonetheless. Grunting, speaking such nonsense, wasting their lives. What good do they have? 

Then there are people like me. We are the farmers, Angelissa. We fatten these creatures because they are of some use to us. Stroke their fragile egos, give them money. They are useless. They are around purely for our entertainment or needs. 

Enough stalling. 

I shall read what he wrote and get it over with. 

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 Little poet, all wrapped up with his infatuation for little Emilia. Weak, snivelling poet. I've always hated romanticizing shit that doesn't even matter. Marius, Marius, Marius, what should I make of Marius? Emilia thought he was brilliant, cold, logical and quite frankly, delicious. Oh, he was cute, but that's all that she got right. He's too soft. But then again, so was Lia Johnson. 

He didn't come after little, weak, vulnerable Emilia, who thought of nothing but loverboy. Maybe he does have some common sense after all, or maybe's he's like the rest of them. A pig. 

He did seem bright to Lia. And he is the basis for the work that I am doing now. 

I suppose he does have some worth after all. Maybe he has changed. I am curious. Maybe he'll be a fun toy. Claire would be too, but she's stronger than he is. Smarter. She'll see through all my tricks. 

I wonder what happened to the body in the pond. Fiona's body. Is it decomposing? Have they found it yet? Given her a proper burial? 

I hope not. That fucker was annoying. 

-L.C. 

23rd August 2011. 

I'm starting to get annoyed with Anita. Where were you last night? Who is Taylor? Why do I smell condoms? Is that birth control? My God, she's like a little fly buzzing in my ear that I have to put up with. Her uncle runs some company, and he is very affectionate of Anita. If I marry her by the time she graduates, he'll fund more money for my research. And who knows? He seems like a very... influential man.

Anita is so boring. I can quell all her anger and doubts with a single sentence. She's so predictable. I can't believe that I'm going to marry this woman. She's graduating soon. I better get a ring soon and come up with a soapy speech, since she likes that sort of stuff. 

Moving forward, my research is complete. I'm missing something so microscopic that it's almost invisible. It's frustrating. If I can just solve this, I will be the scientist of the decade. Some say that I am challenging God, and I suppose, that if he does exist, I am.

I am going to win. 

-L.C. 

15th October 2011.

Angie,

I've cracked it. I can't believe that I've... I've created history. This is amazing. It's exhilarating. It's beautiful. 

I've done it. 

-L.C. 

17th October 2011. 

Angie, 

Dr Harper seems intent on making me write daily accounts in you. Fuck her. All she has is a PHd from a community college. It's laughable. 

Does she think I'm afraid?  

I'm not a child. 

But I suppose that Dr Harper's advice has always worked.  I will... try to write in you as much as possible. 

-L.C. 

18th October 2011. 

Angie, 

A party is going be held in my honour. 

-L.C. 

19th October 2011. 

Nothing. 

20th October 2011. 

What is the point? I have nothing to report, nothing to even say!

Was Emilia delusional? Keeping a.... diary? Jesus Christ, it's like she's a five year old kid, believing in Santa and the Easter Bunny. In this case, however, Santa is YOU. I should destroy you. You are a danger to everyone. Pieces of paper holding information that could potentially destroy my career.

-L.C. 

21st October 2011. 

Angie, 

Anita graduated today, first class honours. I proposed to her after the ceremony, in private, and she, of course, said yes.

Mother would have a heart attack. 

If only I could see the look on that bitch's face. Perhaps having a Mrs Johnson will not be so bad, if it gets to slap that woman's face. It will be beautiful, I imagine. She would get a heart attack. 

But, as it is, she isn't my mother. She's Emilia's. Little Emilia, too cowardly to just shove a knife into her mother's chest. Little pig. 

If I ever see her again, perhaps I will do it for her. 

-L.C.

22nd October 2011

Angie,

Emilia's mother is dead. 

I received a letter today, Angelissa. It was a death certificate. Orchid Johnson is dead. She died two days ago. A... heart attack. Orchid Johnson is dead. Ma is dead. 

Claire signed it, Angelissa. There were the initials 'C.D' on the front, and she wrote 'for old times sake'. They know where I am. 

My head is spinning.

A day ago, I wished for Ma to be dead. 

She's dead. 

So why am I not happy? Why am I scared and excited? Why is there adrenaline pumping in my veins?

-L.C. 

Fast update! No time to edit, Dad is asking me to go to bed. School tomorrow, argh. Haven't completed my homework yet. Probably going to die or something. 

Anyways, soundtrack for this chapter is... Hey There Delilah (ironically). 

Hey there Delilah don't you worry about the distance

I'm right there if you get lonely give this song another listen

Close your eyes, listen to my voice it's my disguise

I'm by your side