The thought of death is vivid in my mind now so more than ever
I don't want to die but the thoughts still there
The thought of picking up my blade and harming myself again is still there to and it's not even that I want to hurt myself it's almost a need
My brains messed up and I'm aware of that but I'm starting to realize that's just how I am
I understand the kids who used to call me a freak and make jokes about me
We're right and that I should've just been okay with their words of truth
You'd think that after all the pills and therapy sessions I'd be okay but I think they've just made me worse than I was
But it's fine cause this is just who I am
One big mess
