My Unlikely Best Friend

Chapter 58

A/N: Here's another chapter for you guys! Please remember to vote, comment, and tell me what you think. I seriously love hearing from you all.

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It was the next day and it was still early, with the sun peeking out from it's hiding place. I was ready to leave the house at that time but before I could, I quietly went to Lauren's room and gently woke her up and told her where I was going, so she wouldn't worry about my disappearance in the morning. She understood right away and I was glad.

As I drove to the hospital, I couldn't help but to bite down on my lips nervously as the beautiful colors of orange and red filled the sky. The average person would eagerly gaze at the horizon in awe, wishing that the beauty would last; but I, on the other hand couldn't stand to look at it any longer, the very sight of it saddened me.

I felt this way because it reminded  me of Dawn. Sunrise was the meaning of her name, so I wasn't immensely surprised as to why whenever I focused on the tangerine-colored sky, it made my stomach all of the sudden churn. I hated to acknowledge this, but my anxiety seemed to have gotten worse since yesterday; seeing her like that—in that state, scarred me mentally. I could barely sleep last night—the image of her, lying down, wet, and covered with dirt and leaves with no breath coming out of her, was all my thoughts brought to my attention.

The mind I possess is already so weak that if I were to see her again, the way she was yesterday, it would break me. But not checking on her wasn't an option. I needed to see her and make sure that she was alright and getting better.

I just needed to be strong.

For Dawn.

The roaring fears and anxieties that've made a home behind the walls I've built, could gnaw at me until all my insides are raw and chewed up, but now, I won't give into their cunning whispers. No, not this time. Not now when Dawn needed me the most. I just had to be there for her even if that meant I'd be mortally wounded in the process.

After I pulled into a parking spot, I quickly went across the lot, practically jogging until I made it inside; and once I finished talking to the front desk lady, she gave me a sticker to place on my shirt that said today's date and the room number Dawn was in. She said that she was moved to the second floor in the Intensive Care Unit, and so that's where I went.

As I searched around for room 33B, I thought about yesterday, when I saw her in the hospital. Alana went inside immediately and gently took a hold of her hand as fresh tears ran down her cheeks and fell from her face, as she looked down at her daughter with a pained expression. But I was still standing in the door frame, too afraid of getting a closer look at Dawn. Doctor Singh left after that, wanting to give us privacy and I was thankful for that because no sooner had he left, he would've seen me cry. I hated when people saw me cry, it made me feel... vulnerable.

Alana asked if I wanted to come inside with her and gestured for me to come toward her, but taking a few steps back, I shook my head. She looked almost as surprised as I with my own actions. Didn't I wait all this time, sitting on that uncomfortable chair, just so I could see her? I asked myself. Then why am I suddenly so reluctant? What has made me so afraid?

I didn't know how many times Alana called my name, but it was probably a few times before I finally focused on her. She was mid-sentence before I cut her off, and timorously told her I had to go. She looked confused and probably wanted to ask me why I wished to leave but I left before she had the chance. I've already been though enough that day. I just couldn't take anymore. But thankfully, today's a new day and I'll use that to my advantage.

I paused when I finally found 33B and it felt like I stared at the sign forever, before I decided to place a timid hand on the doorknob and then slowly twisted it open. The fear that tugged at my heart, as I opened the door, was nostalgic to me and reminded me of my mum.