No Pain No Gain

Chapter 4

I am nothing without this suit.

His aunts and uncles had all stopped by earlier. Giving him get well soon cards and dairy chocolates.

Clint had gotten him a stuffed spider as a joke and whispered a 'get well soon buddy' before leaving with Natasha in tow.

Thor had given him a stuffed bilgesnipe plus a basket of milk chocolates. Even Fury, Coulson, Maria and Skye had come. Offering him a fruit basket with a note that said 'Spider-Man'.

The Maximoff twins were next. They attempted to enlighten him with some funny jokes about their previous mission in Beijing.

Peter had been listening but was not really paying much attention as he laughed half heartedly to their jokes.

Bruce was mostly in and out, monitoring him and constanly asking if he had needed anything and Peter had kindly declined.

Peter fiddled with his new Stark phone. His fingers were scrolling through his contacts list.

There was Harry's number that he didn't have the heart to delete. He didn't want to think of him right now.

It was just too painful at what his best friend had become. Harry, the boy who was neglected by his father, resulting in turning into the next Green Goblin after Norman Osborne, Spider-Man's arch enemy.

Peter remembered like it was just yesterday the look on Norman's face when he had died. Stabbed by his own blade that was aiming for him.

"Don't tell Harry." Those were his last words before his life left him. Then it was Harry's turn. He had just stared at Peter. His eyes holding nothing but regret and betrayal in them and then they were empty.

Gwen. The first person he had told that he was Spider-Man. He could not save her from falling out of the twenty storey building.

He was just too weak to save her. He had not been fast enough. If only he had known earlier.

His phone had been ringing an hour before her death. She died. He did not. That was it. She was in trouble. He was not there to save her. She called for help, but he was much too selfish to answer his phone. If he had just picked up his phone she would have still been alive. But he did not And now she was gone. He felt the hot tears prickling at his eyes.

No. Her death was not his fault. He had remembered Steve and Tony assuring him a few days after his aunt's funeral reception. But what did they know?

They had just ripped his title as Spider-Man off like a logo ripped from it's product. But that did not erase the fact that was all his fault and he could never ever forgive himself for it.

Then, Uncle Ben and Aunt May had died before he had reached his fourteenth birthday. Uncle Ben had died with a bullet to the torso and had bled to death. Aunt May had died shortly after due to a heart attack.

It was all his fault. Peter was no superhero. He was a fraud.

'With great power comes great responsibility.' He could not even save his best friend from become a villain.

He just could not save them all. Not even one. He had let them all die. They did not deserve to die. In fact, he was the one who had deserved their fate. He was the despicable one.

He was the one who had not seen the signs and now they were all dead. No. He was just much too ignorant and arrogant to care. And now look what happened.

They had hated him. They had every right to. Even his dads. Peter was pretty sure they would stop him from being their legal son now. Throw him out onto the streets and die like the street rat he was.

The Avengers did not need him. In fact they had been doing just fine long before Spider-Man or Peter Parker had existed. He did not deserve them. Did not deserve their kindness and undying love. He was nothing.

Peter's webshooters were nowhere to be found. He had noticed the metal cylindrical oxygen tank that stood beside him that was keeping him alive.

He did a quick check to make sure that there were no visible witnesses around. His heart thumped loudly against his ribcage as he slowly reached for the transparent tube that was connected from the tank to his oxygen mask.

It had taken all of his strength as his fingers felt completely numb. More tears were flowing down his face. He closed his eyes.

The faces of everyone he ever knew flashed before his eyes. The only thing that resonated in the room was the sound of the heart monitor beeping and his steady breathing.

As he squeezed his eyes shut, he murmured, "I'm sorry."

He pulled.

-The End-