Lessons of the heart

Anger and Fear

When trying to protect people, one does strange things that go beyond common sense most of the time. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to say certain things and all you can say is 'trust me' and hope that the other person does just that. When you can't explain, all you can do is trust each other.

(Okay, so I am having a pretty hard time writing chapters. Not due to a lack of creativity but because I want to try to get the personalities right.)

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Viktor's face seemed to have fallen. Something in him just wished he wasn't hearing Heine correctly.

Put an end to this...

No this wasn't possible. Something didn't fit the picture and there had to be something horribly wrong for Heine to take such a decision. One thing Heine wasn't anymore was impulsive, at least not when it came to certain difficult situations. Viktor wasn't thinking straight right now. He wanted to yell, tell Heine to stop this nonsense right this instant but... his mind just went blank that very moment.

"Viktor... Don't look at me like that..."

Heine's voice was trembling despite his attempts of keeping it steady. Perhaps he wasn't as strong as he thought he could be. It was rare for him to show or express his emotions but he was breaking. . At first he thought this relationship would have broken him but now it was Rosenberg who had cornered him and had planted the thought that would hear him apart from the inside out.

"Do you think I really want this?"

His voice sounded slightly bittered and hard. There was little choice in the matter for him. It would all be so much easier if he had never met Viktor. Then again he probably would have lived on the streets as well till he got caught , thrown in jail and executed. Chances of ever having become a teacher would have been close to none.

"Please I can't explain but you have to believe that is the best for both of us. I can't deny that I am scared Viktor, this is not easy..."

No don't start crying...

"Heine, I meant what I said about not wanting to loose you and I will do anything I can if you will just tell me what it is that is troubling you."

It was as if the tables had turned and Viktor had become more level-headed and Heine was now being too emotional. Viktor had reached out towards Heine to hold his face only to receive a cold shower as they got pushed away.

"No... You can not help me. This is something I have to solve myself"

"And that includes you ending this without giving me a clear reason?"

Viktor was starting to get frustrated and when his hands were being pushed away, something snapped inside of him. It was wrong for him to lash out to Heine in any way but he was feeling desperate. If he had to get his Tutor to talk by force then so be it. His hands reached out for Heine's shoulders and he was holding him in place quite forcibly. The action startled Heine for a second but then he just stared at Viktor in disbelief.

"You don't give me a chance to help you. You dismiss me and defy me. As a King..."

"As a King you can order me to tell you but that will only make me push you away quicker. Therefor I know you won't do anything like that because I know you care. I am calling upon that side of yours to understand me. I have a good reason Viktor."