Tiger Girl in Love

Chapter 17: Unicorn madness

(Liz's POV)

My eyes were drooping with sleepiness. Through my blurry vision, I saw Ziggy and the shriveled up old man getting along and bonding over vaseline. We had just finished cleaning up the mess we created and now Ziggy was reapplying vaseline to the old man. I rested my head on a fluffy pink pillow that Ziggy got for me. It had a black cartoon skull on it. It was really cute and fuzzy. Due to over exhaustion, I blacked out.

I woke up riding a magestic unicorn. It was beautiful. The shriveled up man ran out of the house and jumped after me. He missed and landed in a bucket of toxic waste. He turned into a gorgeous hobo with a 50 foot gotee. He waggled his unibrow in a wave motion. I got seasick and leaned on the unicorn for support. I felt like barfing, but I held it in somehow because a man made out of vaseline was flying with dragon wings overhead. He was speeding up like my little brother trying to get to the bathroom. Then in one quick and decisive swoop, he shot into a cave-looking hole close by. A random lightening bolt struck behind me, frightening the unicorn, which fainted.

What the heck!?

Falling through the air, I tried to aim for the ocean, but another unicorn fell right in front of us and broke my unicorn's horn. That poor other unicorn. It fell into the cave, followed by mine... and myself. We tumbled down the hole, like a meatball dropping onto a plate and splitting in two, like a helpless noodle, or like a my tooth when it fell out in 8th grade. But don't fret, no one was hurt... badly...

I saw a tunnel splitting into many paths. A sign said, "Go away fools." Another one said, "Beware, my honeybuns."

Omg, I had honey for lunch! What are the odds?

There in the distance in one of the tunnels, there were shadows running away.

Shall I stay or should I go? Go! Adventure!

I looked down at my unicorn. He looked like a meatball sweating in tomatoe sauce. He started to turn into candy. A baby unicorn shot out of his temple. It was like a pinata. The baby unicorn screamed in a human voice, which wierded me out.

"Horraay! I feel alive!"

He looked down at his father(?).

Is he a father? I don't know how to explain this....

"Well he doesn't...look alive..."

More baby unicorns burst forth. I crept closer, totally confused and baffled. Apparently, there was a time machine located in the father's(?) throat. Once more, another shot out, causing the candy unicorn to explode and chocolate was flying everywhere. All the baby unicorns looked at the fallen unicorn which broke my unicorn's horn and formed a circle around her. They began to chant some form of an ancient dialect. This whole scene was totally a kodac moment.

I need my phone... dang, I left it at Luke's house.

Suddenly, one baby unicorn noticed me. I trotted over to me and licked my face. It was kind of sweet, but also disgusting because its drool was yellowish. The smell wafted into my nostrils, which killed my nosehairs. It smelled like lemons and gasoline. Then the baby unicorn sneezed and a kleenex appeared.

How convenient.

I grabbed it and wiped my face. The noise of the sneeze echoed and brought forth the vaseline man. The baby unicorn farted out a book wich had diamond lining and lettering. The book was "The Secrets of the Shriveled-up Man and the Vaseline Man". Right on cue, the shriveled up man was flying in by his new, overgrown unibrow.

The baby unicorn shaved off the unibrow with his razor sharp hoof and neighed.

"W-w-wow, you look be-e-e-etter. Now you lo-o-o-ook phenomena-a-a-a-al."

WIth a flourish of the unicorn's horn, a mirror appeared and the shriveled up man looked at himself and started to cry.

"AharwahhnooosssIwanntmygorgeousunibrowback!"

The hairs on his face started morphing around his eyes. He felt it and looked back up. He grinned.

"Wow, I look so gewd. My eyes are now warm. It needs to be winter time."

I wish Ziggy could see this. It would totally make his day...this is the best show ever!

"Liz!"

A booming echo vibrated throughout the cave.

Well speak of the devil...

"Hey baby! My butt is glitching like cray-cray."

I facepalmed as he ran over to me. He swept me off the ground and carried me princess style.

"Way too much info! How did you find me?"

"I followed the trail of love!"

I scowled.

"Ziggy, come on! For real!"

He chuckled.

"Alright... I saw your unicorn get pummeled and I ran here as fast as I could! I almost died from heart failure I was so worried!"

"Oh, well I'm glad you didn't get a heart attack."

"Gee thanks sweety~"

He kissed my cheek and nuzzled me, scratching me with his shadow of a beard.

"You know... I love beards."

Ziggy waggles his eyebrows at me.

"Well maybe I should grow it out for you!"

I poke his cheek.

"It just scratches when you kiss me... It hurts. Wait!"

I showed him my arm.

"Please scratch my mosquito bite for me!"

He looked intensely into my eyes.

"Are you sure babe? I don't know if I'll make it bleed..."

I looked straight back at him with determination in my eyes.

"Do it Ziggy baby!"

I held my arm against his chin and he nodded his head. I closed my eyes in content. It felt nice. The good feeling stopped.

"Um... babe. You should take a look at this..."

I regrettably opened my eyes and stared at Ziggy. His chin was covered in blood.

"Ziggy! Who did you kill?"

He solemnly answered.

"Your bite hun. I'm sorry. I have failed you. I destroyed part of your skin! I'm a failure as a boyfri-"

"Oh hush! Take me to Uncle Reggy. He can cure my arm."

"Ahh ok then."

He kissed my forehead and zoomed out of the cave.

Dang... I'll have to come back to explore the cave-hole thingy later.

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 I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had fun writing it. :D

-Hinatagirl12 :)