When The Day Met The Night

39

Yesterday Rian told me she didn't have any feelings for me which really sucks because I love her and I wish she could remember me but she can't right now. So I'm going to let her try to remember me without forcing her to be with me. Instead I invited Ryan over to hang out because I just rekindled that relationship.
"Brendon, do you think if I stayed around that you and I would have ended up together and maybe even be married by now?" Ryan asks as we sit in my living room and I feel my heart dropped to my stomach.
"That's a loaded question" I tell him. "I'd hope so, it's a nice thought"
"I think so. We both were really in love with each other" he shrugs.
"Yeah but now it's what? 11 years later? It's a lost love" I sigh. "Hopefully Rian isn't a lost love. I can't believe she had that accident. That could ruin us. If she remembers us eventually, she is never a loud on high things again. This is the worst feeling ever. Over heartbreak, over being cheated on. This is what hurts the most" I tell him and grab my beer and take a long drink of it.
"You need to fight harder for her Brendon. Show her she wasn't just some random girl you like, she's the one you want. Force her to see it" Ryan plots.
"I don't know, she doesn't seem like she wants to hear about it."
"That doesn't matter, you two are meant to be." He shrugs and I nod.
"Let's go then." I stand up. "Let's go. So I can continue to make her see"

We get to her apartment and I knock on her door with Ryan right behind me. I put together a small box of things that might push her to remember me.
"Brendon...hi" she sighs and then looks at Ryan.
"Can we talk? Please?" I ask and she nods letting me in and Ryan follows behind me.
"I know you told me you don't have feelings towards me and I get it cause you don't remember me but I really need you to try because I love you too much to just sit around and wait for you to remember me." I explain. The first thing I pull out is a magazine with both of our faces on it that reads: Brendon Urie's new girlfriend?!
Her face turns confused because she sees herself on a magazine, next to me. "That was taken when we were going into your apartment together."
"Wow. I can't believe I was on a magazine." She sighs.
"That's not it, you were on several online news sources too." I show her a video that talks about us, she watches the whole thing and hands me back my phone.
"That's crazy. But Brendon as much as we both want me to remember I can't. I'm sorry..." she frowns but I'm not done yet. I pull out a small photo album of pictures of us together, smiling and kissing.
"We looked really in love Brendon." She looks through the pictures. "But I just don't feel that way. I'm so so sorry."
"No, Rian. Please try to remember us. I can't live without you."
"You did if before, please stop forcing me to try and remember you. Its not going to happen. You should just move on" her face turns into a look of annoyance.
"It will Ri, the doctor said it was only temporary and that we should show you stuff from your past to remember it." I tell her and then look to Ryan who puts a comforting hand on mine.
"Ri?" She asks, her face softener now.
"That's what I called you" I tell her.
"Brendon, I can't deal with this right now." She shakes her head. "Just go and stop being so hung up on me. I'm not worth it"
"Fine. Just know I tried. I tried so fucking hard to get you to remember me and you don't care enough to try" I stand up. Rian stays silent as we both leave her apartment.
"That's not the Rian I fell in love with. That's some other girl. She liked me when we first met, it's so weird that those feelings don't resurface."
"She'll remember you eventually. You have to keep trying." Ryan assures me.
"I've tried everything. Nothings worked! I'm just going to get drunk now. You coming?"
"Yeah, sure." He shrugs. We drive to my favorite bar and I order a whiskey on ice.

"Maybe shes right" I shrug as I take a sip of my 3rd whiskey. "I should move on and stop being hung up on her."
"No Brendon. You love her. Don't lose her like I lost you" he tells me.
"Yeah but what's the point? She doesn't love me like she use to. Besides...if I forget about her then maybe you and I could try again?"
"I don't know Brendon. We crashed and burned last time. Besides, she could start remembering tomorrow and if you have me or someone else with you she's going to be the heart broken one. This isn't her fault."
"I know. I just wish she could remember already." I sigh.
"And she will. Give it time." He assures me and I just nod.