When The Day Met The Night

57

2 days ago Brendon asked me to go out with him and I agreed of course but then he told me he wouldn't get married again so I sent him packing and then I started packing because I had to quit.
So today I'm going back to Michigan, hopefully for good.
I am heartbroken but relieved almost, I'm heartbroken because part of me wanted to be with him again but the other part of me is relieved that I know we can't be together and all this back and forth can stop.
I know I'll be hurting a while but I have to push through, I can't talk to him or go rush to see him.
It's so hard because I keep replaying our good memories and they make me smile for just a second and then start to cry.
"Brendon this is Rian" Zack introduces me. Brendon turns around and smirks likes he's trying to hold in a laugh, looking at me.
"Sorry what is your name?" He asks.
"Rian" I say again, staring at all his features, this is one beautiful man.
"Nice to meet you Rian" he shakes my hand.
The first time I saw him, I felt the wind get knocked out of my chest, he was a sight to behold.
And he was my sight for so long. I wipe away the tears that already spelt out and sit up.
"Rian" I hear Brendon above me, hovering over my body.
"Yeah?" I groan, barely awake. I slowly open my eyes and see his gorgeous face.
"Time to get up" He smiles. He kisses my cheek and slides away, pulling me up.
"What time is it?" I ask, stretching my limbs"
"Almost 10" he answers. Before I can say anything he leans in and presses his lips to mine and I take in every second.
"I love you" he says as he pulls away. I bite my lip before repeating it back to him.
"Come on gorgeous! Breakfast time!" He stands off the bed and I follow after him.
Tears are full on now, such a stupid simple memory. I remember his lips on mine so clearly now.
I touch my finger to my lip for a second before it pulling it away, washing the memory away.
"Brendon it isn't like that" I shout at him, stomping my foot.
"How isn't it?" He asks, inching closer to me.
"Because what would I want with Dylan? I've told you I don't like him!" I yell.
"Then what is this note about?" He waves the note in my face. Last week I was at the bar with Dylan and some other old coworkers and Dylan got really drunk and gave me a note that says: Rian I love you and I will wait for you forever. Will you wait for me?- Dylan xoxo
"He was drunk, I said that already"
"Okay, say he was drunk. Why did you keep it?" He raises his eyebrow.
"I threw it in my purse and forgot about it. Brendon are we really doing this right now?" I ask, grabbing my hair.
That's it, I just need to think about our fights, all the times I wanted to tear my hair out because of some false accusation. That's the only way to get me through this road trip without crying my eyes out.
"Brendon did you smoke the last of my weed?" I ask, showing the empty bag in front of him.
"Yeah...thought you wouldn't care. I was out." He shrugs, pausing his game, pushing his glasses up and looking at me.
"I do care. This is my weed." I state.
"Come on Ri-isn't it our weed?" He points out.
"Why would it be our weed?" I ask, throwing the bag on the coffee table.
"Cause we both smoke it" he shrugs.
"No this is mine. Yours is in your own little tin thing. That thing I bought you last month. That is your weed!" I groan and turn to leave.
"Rian! You're being dramatic" he stands. I say nothing and go to the room.
Ugh, he always took my weed. Asshole.
"It's not stupid Brendon. She hurt you and you deserve to find someone else, someone who won't hurt you." I grab his hand without thinking. "I understand because i feel the same way too"
There's nothing said for a few seconds and then he kisses me and at first I'm surprised but then I kiss back. He pushes more into me and I push forward, still kissing him. He swipes his tongue against my bottom lip and I slightly open my mouth. His hands slide down to my sides and he pushes me against the couch. I pull away for a second and then come back and then he pulls away.
Our first kiss, it turned into more I should say. I remember that all the time. I was so freaked out because I had a million emotions running through me, I ran out of his apartment. Of course he chased after me.
Fuck. I'm gonna miss him.