The Ship Everyone Wants To Sail

First Day

Here I am walking into rehearsal being an actual stage manager for the first time in my first semester of college. Wow, that's a lot of firsts.

I just got out of a rough relationship with someone I thought I wanted to spend my life with. I loved him for 3 years without him knowing and suddenly we both wanted to date. I was so excited and I thought I can have a good life like everyone said I would have. That is not the case. It was great only to find out that he was not the guy I wanted to be with from the first week. He made me want to do things I was extremely uncomfortable with and I broke it off with him before it was too late. I decided to not do dating until I was done with college.

Then you showed up.

The first day I saw you, it was in rehearsals. I was intrigued. I was like "who was that cute, awkward boy with brown curly hair and dimples?" I took a closer look and was extremely startled when I saw your physical features. They were the exact same as the dream guy I have had since I was eight: brown curly hair, dimples, freckles, brown eyes, a little taller than me, and a semi-deep voice. The only guys who were similar to my dream guy were celebrities and famous people that will never know my existence. You... you do know my existence and I honestly did not know what to do with that.

I found out you only come to rehearsals on certain days through my professor-director and was disappointed I don't get to see you as much as the rest of the cast. I mean, when you finally find your dream guy in reality and you're able to be at least their friend, who wouldn't be disappointed in that. If I could be in Shawn Mendes' life, I would cry.

Then one day when I was helping my friend with costume design, we talked for the first time. You were in a flirtatious, social mood. The complete opposite of what I saw a few days before. It was most likely because we got past the first-day awkwardness of any new thing people do. You showed me a picture of you in drag and I wondered how you can be so pretty in both genders while I'm struggling to be pretty in one.

I'm not sure if it's just who you are or if I was thinking too much, but you sat awfully close to me as you showed me the picture. When I mean awfully close I mean you pulled up a chair right next to me and I felt your body heat. I'm not complaining, though. I got to see your features close up, but that threw me off a bit because we didn't know each other at all. 

Who knew that would be the start of something new...

(Hehe. High School Musical references are the best.)

(I'm not sorry at all.)