The Ship Everyone Wants To Sail

Bonfire Night

Alright, so much shit has gone down in the last 24 hours. I literally can't. You're on my mind 24/7 as I am overthinking the situation we are in.

So the day started as one of our regular Saturday shows when it ends at ten at night. One of our friends (let's call him Todd) was hosting a bonfire in the woods near our college campus and invited us to join. I was waiting on another friend's (let's call her Shelia) and your response to see if you're both going. In the end, we're all going.

Wait, let me back it up a week.

Remember when you almost kissed me around three times at that event? Yeah, I guess you were trying to kiss me all week. It only took me a week to figure that out. I have either looked away or backed out of it from fear. It happened altogether, no more than ten times.

Okay, back to where we were.

We started this thing of ours where you blast music and you lip-sync to them after each rehearsal and show (I have no clue how I'm going to live without these when the show is done). This time when you got close to my face during a song I didn't flinch at all. I have no clue where I got this surge of confidence or assurance from, but that happened. 

We got so close our noses touched. Your reaction when you realized I didn't pull away was literally the most adorable thing I've witnessed yet. Your eyes shined so brightly in happiness. You had those cute laugh lines you had when you were truly happy. You did it a couple more times to see if it was just a lucky one time thing but I stuck my ground and it was honestly fun. You were happy for the rest of the night. 

So, I guess that was the start of the chain reaction.

We had to go to Shop Rite for some "stuff" for the bonfire and I called shotgun while Shelia was in the back because why not. I had a feeling you were going to do this but didn't think so much on it. Then after I was done contemplating if you were going to do it or not, you held my hand while you were driving. Shelia didn't notice though.

I always wanted those moments. I am such a sucker for small things like that. Honestly, that's how anyone can win me over. 

When we got back from Shop Rite. You gave me one of two camping chairs while you had the other. Todd then asked if you had another one. You replied with a no. Todd then continued, asking why didn't he get one. You replied with he's the number two person in the group of friends we were in. While I was holding the bag with the chair.

All I was thinking was, "was I the number one at the moment?" I mean you did give me the other camping chair and declined Todd with having it. My emotions, though.

On our way to the bonfire sight, you decided to hold my hand. Your hand is oddly comforting. I don't know why I put oddly since it was comforting and made me happy. Probably because I haven't felt that with a physical touch at all. 

You helped me through slippery parts of the ground and over an extremely small stream (that I still manage to almost fall into... good job, me). After a few close calls with my face meeting the ground, we got to the area we were walking to. You decided to climb up the big rock that was there and made us sit there together with other people. It didn't last long, sadly, because you were the only one that knew how to properly put on a fire. 

So, while you were doing that, Shelia and I were too cold on top of the rock and decided to go closer to the fire on the ground. We were still freezing our feet off (literally), but you sometimes came over to sit with me, then had to go back and tend the fire. 

One of the times you sat behind me (I admit you were a bit tipsy), you kissed my cheek. Twice. It was those big ones that were intentional that made my heart go crazy, but I possibly made it look like I wasn't affected much (I blame the cold). One arm was wrapped around my torso while the other one was holding a cup of whatever you had.