Faith

Pt.4

Robert tapped his foot nervously. He hated waiting rooms. He felt like the white, clinical walls were closing in on top of him. He knew he wasnt there for anything bad, but he just wanted to know if he was pregnant or not.  He was jolted out of his daze by Aaron squeezing his hand gently. 'Okay?' He asks. He nods, he doesnt think he can form words properly. He feels nauseated and he wants this over with. He realises that the waiting room is empty, except for Aaron so he turns to face him 'Listen, Babe, i've been thinking' he begins
'Ooh thought i could smell something burning' Aaron smiles.
Rob chuckles before continuing
' You know I'd understand, if the test is positive, if you want to leave me. I understand its a lot for you to take in and I dont want you to feel as though you're trapped.'
He raised his eyes to meet Aarons, and realized that his husband was looking at him in complete disbelief. 'Baby' he begins, and Robert smiles at the pet name, 'I could never leave you. I love you so much, you're absolutely everything to me, and you think i'm going to leave? No chance. I'm in this for the long run.'
Robert is lost for words and grips his husbands hand.

The nurse comes into the room and tells them where to go. The doctor is called Stacey and she is very helpful. She sits them down and begins to speak. 'Robert, the test results have come back. They have confirmed that you are indeed pregnant'
Robert feels like his world has imploded. He can feel his chest tightening and ice in his heart. His breathing quickens, and he's doubled over. Aaron is crouching down in fromt of him, speaking calmly. Robert tries to listen. Dr. Stacey is letting Aaron take the lead. The clouds in Robert's brain start to clear, and he can hear Aaron repeating '...I love you, come back to us, Baby,  Its okay, try and slow your breathing down.' Robert does his very best, and the dizziness fades. He can feel his chest loosening and becomes aware of the tears rolling freely down his face.  He grips Aarons hand tightly as his breathing returns to normal. Aaron is still crouched down and as Robert calms down, he smiles and says 'Babe. We're in this together. I love you. I love you BOTH so much' Robert nods and the doctor says 'I'll give you some privacy. Let the nurse know when you're ready.' Robert smiles gratefully and hears the door click shut. Aaron says 'Talk to me, babe. I need to know what's happening, if I'm to help you.' Robert desperately thinks how to word his sentence, and fails spectacularly. 'Its just that, the last time, I lost the baby, and l cant help but feel like the same thing will happen again. And I had no support, the guy who got me pregnant, he couldn't handle it and he left. I couldn't live without you.' Aaron could feel his eyes starting to water, and feel himself getting emotional. How could anyone leave Robert to deal with that alone?  'Robert, I will NOT leave you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm not leaving, no matter how tough it gets. And', he says, placing a hand on Robert's stomach,'That is MY child in there. I'm a Daddy. And so are you. I've only known about the baby for less than half an hour and I already love it so much. And I can only imagine how painful it was the last time, on your own. But thats not going to happen again. I promise.'

After their chat, and they've both cried themselves out, they call the Doctor back in. She talks them through the practicalities, Antenatal classes, on their own if they wish, birthing facilities, and the different types of births. She did say that it was a lot to take in, and they could make an appointment to come back and discuss more.
The journey home was mainly in silence, as Robert fell asleep, exhausted after the day.
They eventually pulled up in the driveway and Aaron gently woke Robert. They headed straight up to the bed, and Robert laid his head on Aaron's chest. He was full of questions and insecurities, but all he wanted now was to sleep.