“PAISLEY WAKE UPPPP!” A chirpy australian voice yelled as they jumped on my bed. I groaned, trying desperately to push them off through my sleepy state. “Stoppppp,” I complained once my hand had succeeded in wrapping around their ankle, pulling them down beside me.
Cracking my eyes opened, I identified the mystery person to be Luke. “We’re here!” he informed me, his blue eyes lighting up at his announcement. I laughed lightly, sitting up and running my hand through my mess of hair.
“Come on come on come on!” he cheered, dragging me out of bed. I stumbled behind him, still laughing. “Slow down,” I bubbled out through giggles. “I have to get dressed and then I’ll be right out.” His grin turned to a pout as he continued to pull on my hand.
“But I wanna go get food and Calum says we can’t go without you!” I laughed lightly again, shoving him out of the bus, “Hold your horses! I’m coming!”
It took me around fifteen minutes to get ready and by the time I was out of the bus, the boys were already in the rented car. “Hurry up,” Michael called, waving me over. I jogged to the car, pulling open the door, the smile immediately dripping from my face. The car only had room for four people in the back, meaning either I was riding in the trunk or on one of their laps. And honestly, the trunk sounded most appealing.
However I didn’t get much say in my seating as I was shoved over Luke’s lap onto Calum’s, who grunted and passed me to Michael, who followed in suit until I landed on Ashton’s lap. He tried to pass me as well, but ended up ramming me into the door. I whimpered, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Careful guys,” Luke instructed cautiously. “She’s a living being, not a piece of meat.” “Well I don’t want her,” Ashton retorted, shoving me forward into the back of the passenger seat. I banged my head off it, falling back onto him. He pushed me onto Michael, but that lasted for .5 seconds before I crawled off all of them and ran back onto the bus, feeling blood drip down my nose onto my lip.
Once I’d made it into the bathroom and locked the door, I applied pressure to my bloody nose and tilted my head back, feeling tears well up in my eyes. Ashton had always been verbally awful, but he’d never actually physically hurt me. Was it an accident? No, it couldn’t have been...you don’t just accidently shove someone as hard as you can into something hard, especially while expressing your hatred for them...
“Paisley?!” I heard Luke’s voice shouting as he tried to open the door. “Go away!” I replied, my voice muffled by the paper towel. “Please let me in,” he whispered, jiggling the handle. “I want to make sure you’re okay...”
I sighed, unlocking the door so he could scurry in. Within seconds after he pulled me into his arms, I broke down completely. Sobs wracked my body as I fell to the floor, his grip only tightening as he fell with me. “Shh...you’re okay...” he whispered soothingly, only making me cry harder. If I’m being honest, I didn’t even know why I was so upset. Did I expect anything other than this from Ashton? He hates me. That isn’t going to change.
“Let’s stand up love,” Luke mumbled after I’d been crying for around ten minutes. He pulled me up with him, still holding me tightly to him. My fingers slipped into his belt loop-- something I always did to whoever was around me when I was upset-- and he giggled. “Feisty, aye?” I shrugged, letting out a small chuckle as well.
“You should go eat,” I whispered. “I think I’m just going to go lay down for a little. I wasn’t that hungry anyways.” This wasn’t true. I was absolutely starving. However, the bus had food and right now, all I needed was some alone time.
Luke bit his lip, contemplating whether he should leave me alone or not. “Please,” I quietly begged. A pounding in my head had just set in, making me feel even worse. I sighed. “We can even cuddle when we get back if you want...” This one caused a toothy grin to grow on his face, “You know me so well!”
I laughed softly, kissing his cheek. “Now go have a good time with the boys and eat until your little stomach can’t take anymore.”
He giggled, giving me a hug. When he pulled back, his face was completely serious. “If you need me, please call me. I understand we’re only dating for the media, however you have become really important to me and I’d hate myself if anything ever happened to you...” I smiled lightly at how sincere he sounded and gave his hand a little squeeze. “I’ll call you, I promise...now go!”
He giggled as I shooed him out, running to the car. Once he was in, they sped off just as I assumed they would. Teenage boys will be teenage boys.
I went back to the bathroom, grabbing some aspirin for my head. As I was putting the bottle away, a shiny strip of metal caught my eye. My blade.
I delicately reached out for it, letting it sit in the palm of my hand. I hadn’t touched this since high school and despite the pain I was currently feeling, I hadn’t planned on it. I was better than that.
“Paisley?!” A shocked voice bellowed from the doorway, the blade falling from my fingertips and crashing to the counter. Whipping around to face who it was, my breath caught in my throat.
Shoot.
-
A/N: I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. My best friend has been going through a lot lately and I haven't had much time to write. However, now, things are looking up, allowing me more free time.
I know this was kind of short, but the next chapter will be in Ashton's P.O.V so get excitedddd :D
on a serious note, if any of you struggle with self harm, I'd just like to let you know i am here for you. if you ever need someone to talk to, just ask for my kik. i'll gladly lend an ear. (:
thats all for now! thank you guys for being patient with me, i know it must've been annoying. however, it's gonna get better!
have a lovely day/night/evening/morning,
-jess (:
YOU ARE READING
who are you // ashton irwin
Fanfiction"what do you want?" i mumbled, my voice coated in ice. "well a sign of acknowledgement might be nice," he countered, his eyebrows furrowed together. "i know i was horrible to you, but that was years ago. i've changed." i gave him an incredulous loo...
