You hurt me and didn't even know I existed. Then you found out and kept hurting me. I continue to let you hurt me. You hurt me more than anybody else yet I still love you. I wish I took the blame for that. I would've been gone and not you. Would that have been proof enough? I tried and still try to move on. What is it that makes me love you? I promise I'll still protect you. I know you won't see this so it's not a promise to you. It's a promise I made to myself a long time ago. I'll let her kill me if she wants. As long as you know that I died for you. Maybe then it'll kill you as much as you killed me. Then you'll see how much I loved you and you'll love me back. Then it'll be too late for you to tell me. I'll prove it to you someday that she's cheating. I'll prove it that I cared more than anyone else. You don't realize how much I do for you on a daily basis. Well did. I'm trying to get you out of my head. Every day sucks. Some days all I wanna do is cry but for some reason I don't. Other days I cry endlessly. I get told to stop crying because it's not a big deal. So more than half my life isn't a big deal? I love you, I miss you. I'm basically forcing myself to like someone else just so that my focus isn't on the fact that you're gone. Now it's on the fact that I only see him once a week but we never talk. Well I try to focus on that. Now I cry for 5 reasons. I keep letting you hurt me more and more. Only one person tries to understand why I'm so upset. I hate pretending to be happy when I'm really not. All I ever wanna do anymore is cry. No one bothers asking if I'm ok anymore because I always said I was ok. I'm not anymore. I lost the only thing in my mind, now my mind is following.
