Sometimes sorry hurts.
This isn't one of those times.
You know how hard sorry can be? It can kill people. Not saying it can also kill people.
Sorrys can make people cry.
Sorrys can fix or break anything.
This sorry made me cry. No I wasn't sad. I was happy that they atleast cared about me. First time I cried cuz I was happy. I didn't wanna lose my best friend over something stupid like this and I thought I did. I cried cuz I was sad and scared before. Now I'm crying because I'm happy. It killed me thinking that we might not be friends anymore. I was slowly dying. I hurt myself. Not suicidally but I stabbed myself with a pencil a lot and there are a bunch of marks on my arm from it. People were trying to get me to stop but couldn't. Only he could. Now I don't know why I thought that we might not be friends anymore. He's my best friend and nothing was gonna change that. I don't think he'd let it and I know I won't. Yeah it still hurts some. But I know he didn't wanna hurt me. He probably had a good reason. We're gonna be better friends after this because we know we can make it through anything together. Also everything in life hurts. I messed up big time and I hope I never do it again. I still remember the day we became friends and every conversation we ever had. I know things change and I'm ok with that. I have so many things I wanna tell him but I can't so I'm just gonna make a list here and hope he sees it.
• Stopped me from hurting myself multiple times
• Stops me from hurting other people
• Tries to keep me out of trouble
• Doesn't get mad at me when I get mad at my mom
• He understands why I say what I say and do what I do
• He doesn't question me or my insanity
• He acceptes me for who I am
• Doesn't blame me for things people do because of me.
• The reason I am who I am
• I do things I'd usually be scared of because of him
• A bunch of other reasons I don't know how to put into words.
Best Friend Day
September 28 2017
