Survivors

Restoration

"Go take care of Xavier." Says Jade.

"Why me?" I ask. He's been complaining incessantly ever since he got confined to his bed.

"Because you love each other." Maggie teases. I roll my eyes.

"I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I don't feel like that." I roll my eyes.

"Just-" Jade pauses. "Go see him. He deserves to be acknowledged by you."

I groan and head over to his room. I bring a fold-up chair so I don't have to sit on the floor.

"Hi." I say.

"Hello." He smiles. "Is my arm better?"

"You should know about your own arm!" I shout.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry." He sighs.

"Go to sleep so I don't have to deal with you." I beg.

"I'm not tired, though." He groans.

"Too bad." I roll my eyes.

"Can you talk to me?"

"No."

"Tell me a story." I pause.

"What about?"

"The most embarrassing moment in your life." He smirks.

"You're an asshole." I whisper. "Fine. I once tried to eat my kidney."

"I'm not sure I understand." He raises an eyebrow.

"I donated a kidney once. They showed it to me when I woke up from surgery. I was still weird from the anaesthetic and thought they were giving me food, so I tried to take a bite out of it..." I elaborate.

"Can I tell you something?" He asks and looks down.

"I already know." I assure him.

"You don't know what I'm going to say." He says.

"Go ahead." I roll my eyes.

"You're allowed to leave the room whenever you want. I don't think you'll be able to bear being in a room with me anymore after I say this." He pauses. "I smell my underwear before putting it into the wash."

Nope. That's not what I expected.

"That's fine."

"Thanks." He says. "I need to talk to someone about this. You don't need to listen. Just sit there and pretend you are while I ramble on." I lean back in my chair. "I don't know if I really want to do this. I don't think I can face Polois again. He... that was the worst thing I'd ever gone through in my life." He looks down in shame. "There's a reason Wessa was originally picked instead of me. Did you see her in there? She was so brave and talented... I can't even swordfight correctly. Like, you're all so cool. Regeit can fly a huge ship and parent five kids without regrets. Maggie can build anything and has a comeback ready all day, every day. Jade's a powerhouse. She shoots everything so accurately. And can get a girl way easier than me. And Wessa can break up so many fights, and is just so nice to everyone... and you're that awesome dude in action movies everyone wants to be when they grow up. You're sympathetic. You're a team player. You kick ass. And I heard you took charge while Regeit was out." He looks down. "And I don't know who I am. I'm the damsel in distress. I'm afraid of spiders. I try to be cool but it makes everyone hate me."

"Nobody hates you." I tell him. "You're annoying, but you're a part of the team."

"Thanks." He smiles.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine." He looks down.

"That's exactly what you say if you're not okay."

"Then what do you say when you are okay?" He looks ready to panic.

"You need to be able to talk to me!" I snap.

"I don't want to!" He says. He's still smiling, though.

"For dak's sake-" I roll my eyes. "We should have left you on the ship!"

His smile falters.

"You're right. It'd be better if I wasn't alive."

"That's not what I meant! I was joking!" I soon notice my mistake.

"Well maybe once somebody said something like that and they weren't joking! Maybe people are nicer to you than they are to me!" He says.

"I didn't know you-"

"I know you didn't know." He sighs. "It's just- people hated me for so long. Now they all depend on me. It's like jumping out of a snowstorm and into a hot tub."

"You aren't letting anyone down." I say. He blushes and looks away.

"Can I-" he looks extremely embarrassed. "Can I have a hug?"

I groan and lie down next to him on the bed. I wrap my arms around him. His body feels sweaty, like he's been under the blankets too long. He probably has. He turns his head to look at me.

"How's my wound?"

I look at it.

"Fine. I guess. I'm not peeling off the bandages." I shrug. He nuzzles his face into my chest and his breathing slows. I feel stiff and awkward.

"Is this home now?" He asks.

"Earth's gone." I whisper. "It must be."

"This is every kid's dream. But now it's turning into my nightmare." He starts to cry into my shirt. "I want to wake up."

"There's no waking up." The corners of my eyes feel wet. "This is life now."

"I was always so close with my family." He sighs. "We'd hug every night, and play board games every Sunday. It's hard to live without that intimacy for once in my life. It feels... cold."

"Sometimes you just have to ask." I say.

"That's not right though." He clenches my shirt. "What if they say no? What if I'm being too weird? What if I take up their time?"

"My cousin Martine was always like this." I say. "She took medication for it. Because her social anxiety was impacting her life too much. Do you have medication?"

"Not anymore." He replies. "I'm doing alright, though. It's starting to get better."

"Just talk to people." I say. "Regeit's understanding."

"Yeah." He nods. "I need to tell you something. Again." He looks down. "Everyone calls me disgusting when this happens. And that's okay. You can, too. I'm used to it." He takes a deep breath. "I think I had a crush on you."

"I know." I say.

"And you're okay with that?" He asks. I can feel his heart pounding against mine.

"It's fine. I'm flattered, honestly. It's the first time anyone's said that to me. I mean, I see you as a friend, but I don't hate you." I reply.

"Oh." He nods. "I'm going to sleep now. G'night."

"Night." I nod, leaving the room.

I take a deep breath.

I'm sort of scared that someone has lowered their standards low enough as to like me.

But I'm even more scared that I might start to feel the same way.

***

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:

I hope you're all okay with being acknowledged again.

(Not the end of the book)

My brother is the first person to ever hear this story. And he seems to enjoy it. So that counts for something.

al_grimes provided inspiration for the first character of Jade's type. So I guess she should get credit for Jade.

HimawariShippuden read the first chapter and offered a comment. She's also my friend so she should get tagged for that.

Cupcake7978 is credited for good measure, too.