Blue Ocean Floor (A Justin Timberlake Fanfic)

Elevators

I'd been back in New York City a week and resumed my life as usual. Justin and I agreed not to see each other for a while and try to figure out what we were going to do. A part of me wanted to pretend it never happened, the other part wanted us to leave our spouses and be together; a very small third part wanted me to move to another country and assume another identity. I knew both were impossible (number 3 would never happen). Jeremy was getting antsy about my not wanting to have sex. I couldn't bring myself to sleep with him when I got home.  I couldn't make up many more excuses. I didn't want to make him angry.

"Babe! I bring steaks!" Jeremy voice boomed through the loft.

"The key to my heart!" I screamed back at him.

"I ran into Jessica on the elevator. Said she hasn't seen you in a while. I told her you'd call her."

"Ok. I'll do that." Yeah right.

"I'm going to make you a steak for the gods." He kissed me and kissed him back as passionately as I could.

I really did love Jeremy. He was everything you could possibly want in a man. Attractive, smart, artistic, filthy rich. And he loved ME. Of all people. Despite how crazy I was. I watched him make us dinner while I contemplated all this. Then I watched him as we both ate. We got ready for bed and were both watching TV when he started touching me. Then kissing me. He pulled me down and climbed on top of me, between my legs.

"Jeremy, can we-"

He placed his hand over my mouth. He went back to kissing my neck and I stayed quiet. When he pulled off my panties I didn't say anything. Sometimes this is just what he did. I just figured this is what being married was. I was surprised he had allowed me to go this long denying him. Maybe he really did miss me while I was gone. I'd never taken a trip away from him before. As he got more rough I tried to take my mind away from it. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Justin and how soft he touched me, how sweetly he made love to me, how his lips felt on mine. Instantly the sex felt better.nWhen he was done he rolled off of me, pulled me close, and fell asleep. I laid there for a long time afterward, staring into the darkness.

"You've been being weird all day. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I'm just out of it I guess. It's been a weird few weeks."

Reese and I were having tea after yoga and I guess she'd noticed how different I was. Justin had texted me saying he missed me earlier. I didn't respond. I just deleted the text. Jeremy kept buying me flowers to apologize for the last night, but I kept trying to push it out of my mind. Of course I wanted to tell Justin I missed him. I ached for him every day, but I couldn't.

"Did you see Justin while you were in LA?" My head snapped towards her and I made a face. "I'm guessing that's a yes. Tell me what happened."

"How did you know Justin was in LA?"

"You...texted me that you guys were on the same flight?" 

"Can I be honest with you?" I put my hands over my face and sighed. Every part of me seemed to be aching. I felt like I hadn't slept in weeks. I was having trouble focusing and all I wanted to do was take some drugs and numb myself.

"Cassy, what's going on?"

"I slept with Justin." I blurted out.

"WHAT?" Once again, everyone in the coffee shop turned around to give us a look. "Cassy, you're not serious. Justin like...hates you. Doesn't he?"

"It just...happened." I explained to her everything that happened. All the details, the way I was feeling, everything. She paused for a long time before she replied.