Blue Ocean Floor (A Justin Timberlake Fanfic)

Almost Doesn't Count

Justin carried my bag into my bedroom and sat it on the bed. It felt weird to call this home again. It didn't look at though anyone had been in there, but Justin still called someone to change the locks and hired someone to stand outside my door 24/7 until he felt that I was safe enough not to need protection. I told him he was being ridiculous, but he insisted. I had returned to work finally and everyone welcomed me back with a delicious cake from Sweet E's bakery. For the first time in years I felt like my life was mine again.

"I think I want to redecorate." I said looking around the living room.

"You have some weird obsession with interior decorating that I will never understand." said Justin.

"Well, new chapter of my life. I need new shit. You can help or you can shut the fuck up."

"Hey, that's how you speak to me?" he grabbed me and pulled me close to him, kissing me on the nose. "Alright, I gotta go. Call me if you need me ok?"

"Ok."

He kissed me on the forehead and left. I felt kind of rejected that he didn't kiss me on the lips but I shook it off. I didn't know where Justin and I stood at this point. I wasn't sure if we were friends, lovers, together...well, we definitely weren't lovers. There wasn't any loving going on here. I was seeing my therapist regularly and he told me when I felt I was ready it would happen. There were mornings I would watch Justin walk out of the shower with barely anything on and my mouth would water but I couldn't bring myself to act on those impulses. I didn't want Justin to feel rejected and I could tell sometimes he was disappointed, but I was so happy that he respected my choices. It seemed strange that I had no problem with sleeping with him when we were married. I was afraid if I waited any longer any hope of an us would disappear altogether.

The next day I went to a few different furniture stores and picked out a new bed, new living room furniture, and new kitchen appliances. I set a delivery date for everything and went home, feeling confident. I grabbed my mail and went up to my condo. I sat down on the couch and started flipping through my mail when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Cassandra, it's Mr. Moretz. Mr. Ford agreed to sign the divorce agreement as long as you agreed not to press charges."

"When did I mention ever pressing charges?"

"It's just apart of the agreement."

"Fine. It's fine. I just want this to be over."

"Then we can schedule an appointment for the both of you to sign the papers. I'll get his available times and give you a call."

"We have to sign the papers together?"

"He requested it."

I deeply sighed.

"Fine. I'll talk to you later."

I hung up the phone and thought about the prospect of seeing Jeremy again. My heart dropped in the pit of my stomach and I realized my hands were shaking. I got up, took a bath, and climbed into bed. I spent a couple of hours tossing and turning before I picked up my phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hey Cass, what's up?" I heard Reese's voice on the other end of the speaker and sighed.

"Can't sleep."

"Understandable. How are you feeling these days?"

"I'm doing a lot better."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Jeremy agreed to sign the papers...as long as I don't press charges."

"What a fucking douchebag. It'll be over soon, Cass. Do you want me to come out there?"

"No, no. I think maybe I'll take Justin with me to sign the papers. Do you think that's inappropriate?"

"Fuck what he thinks is appropriate."

"Good point. I uh...moved back into my condo."

"You're not going to live with Justin?"

"I found a book on pregnancy in his nightstand...he told me he and Jessica were talking about having a kid. It just feels like I'm this mistress whore who broke up a marriage and now I think I have rights to the home they built together."

"Justin didn't leave her for you. There were obviously doubts in his mind before you came along and you just affirmed those doubts. But of course, I understand why you wouldn't want to move into their house."

"I don't even know what Justin and I's relationship is yet."

"You guys still haven't had sex?"

"No."

"Don't pressure yourself. It'll happen. But...speaking of kids..."

"Don't..."

"I found out today."

"I'm gonna be an aunt???"

"Yes!"

"Oh my god! I'm so happy for you guys! I'm sooooooo happy. I might cry."

"I'm happy too. But also exhausted. I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone in much higher spirits. I sighed and pulled up my text messages.

"Are you awake?"

"Miss me already?" Justin replied back, almost immediately.

"I would be lying if I said no. Do you want to come over? I'm having a hard time falling asleep."

"I'll be there in 20."

"Ok."

I heard my door open and close a little while later, and next thing I knew Justin was crawling into bed next to me. He pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around me. I immediately felt safer. 

"I missed you today." he whispered into my ear.

"You just saw me yesterday." I giggled.

"I'd like to see you every day but you decided you didn't want to live with me anymore."

"Justin, we talked about this."

"What did you do today?"

"I went furniture shopping. Trying to make this place look more me and not like I hired someone to put a bunch of nice shit in it."

"Sounds boring as fuck."

"I didn't invite you over here so you could be a dick. But, I do want to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"I'm supposed to be having a meeting with Jeremy. It's apart of our..divorce settlement. We're gonna I guess...just discuss everything that's supposed to happen. Will you come with me?"

"Of course I'll come with you. And try not to beat his face in."

"You are a soft little lamb not a UFC fighter."

"Yeah, ok. Anyway, let me know when it is so I can clear my schedule for that day."

"I will."

As we laid there falling asleep, with Justin's body pressed against my back I couldn't help but miss his skin directly against mine. When I started to think about touching Justin and perhaps testing the state of our relationship, he started snoring. Maybe another night.