SANA NGAYONG PASKO (COMPLETED) #Wattys2018

SANA NGAYONG PASKO....

MATTHEW

I left them at the garden. They have so many things to reconcile. Many things to talk about. I've heard what I needed to hear. I saw how Tatay....Tatay!!! I can finally call him that. I saw how Tatay looks at Mama. He might not want to admit it but he still loves her. I saw the panic in his eyes when Mama started crying. I saw how he wanted to reach out and comfort her.
Mama loves him too. I could see it in her eyes. They just need to settle things between them.

"Matt?"

"Tay?"

"Come here."

I approached him. He hugged me. This time tighter than all his hugs. I am almost as tall as him now. I guess when I reach his age I will be taller than him. He's 34 I am 17. If people will see us they will not think he is my Dad. Maybe just an older brother but not Dad. He looks so young to be my Dad. With Mama, I was sometimes teased by my classmates who doesn't know her. They thought I am sating her. She looks so young. A lot younger than her age, she's 32.
I hugged my dad too. It does feel good to know he is my dad. When I first saw him, I wanted him to be my Dad. Sometime I would pretend he is Daddy especiallu when we went out before. Sometimes I would try to reach out and hold his hand. He never let go too. He would just hold my hand too.

"I'm so sorry anak I did not know."

"It's okay Tatay."

"Mahal kita anak, mahal na mahal. Don't ever think that I do not love you. If I had my way, our family would have been whole. I did not know. I told your Mama that I will fix everything. I will make sure everything will be okay."

"Are you leaving?"

"I'm going home to tell your grandparents about it. I'm coming back. I still have a lot to talk about with your mama. I asked her for a date, dinner just her and I, is that okay?"

"Yes! Are you getting back together?"

"If I have it my way, I will bring you both back home but then I need to convince her about my intentions"

"You need help?"

"Naah, I can do this hahaha."

"I love you Dad."

"Dad sounds better. I love you too anak. " 

"I will call you Tatay. My siblings will call you Dad if they want to."

"Siblings?"

"I'm sure if Mama and you get back together there will be younger siblings. And the age gap will be like you and Me hahaha"

"Ikaw talaga."

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes. May meeting pa ako eh. Your grandfather asked to talk to me later tonight. I'll come back. Tatapusin ko lang yung meeting ko."

"Okay, come back okay Dad?"

CHRISTMAS DAY

"Matthew!!"

"Matthew?!"

"Mom? What's the problem?"

"Come, let's talk."

"Is this about Dad?"

"Yes and some."

"Okay."

I have not seen them talk to each other. The last time I saw them together was when they went to dinner about a week ago. Since then, Dad has not dropped by the house. He talks to me over the phone and I get to go visit him at his office. He has not introduced me to my grandparents yet. One time I heard Mama crying over the phone and I knew she was talking to my Dad. When I hear them fight over the phone I walk away. It's bad enough that they have been estranged for a long time, bad enough that I do not get to spend time with both of them at the same time, them fighting is worst.

Is this talk with Mama time for them to tell me that they can not be together? That I will be given a schedule where to stay and live for the next year until I become an adult?

Just thinking about it is breaking my heart already.   Of course I want them to be together but if it does not work, why the hell should I pester them to be together?