Naomi POV:
I'd be lying if I said I was okay right now. I know damn well that I'm not, and anyone else who saw me would immediately be able to tell. I looked down at my bleeding wrists as a huge pit formed in my stomach. My body was shaking, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it to stop. I had promised myself I would never do this. I promised.
The shaking, the cutting, the uncontrollable crying... I felt psychotic. I felt like every part of my humanity was gone, and now I was a sobbing, bleeding heap on the floor. I hugged my knees closer to my chest, but it was no use. There's no way to protect yourself from yourself.
I eyed the bloody razor on the ground for several minutes as sobs racked my body, trying to will myself to clean up the mess. I eventually decided to do so, and, with shaking hands and legs, I gathered everything and disposed of it. I slid my sleeves back down in an attempt to hide my scars from myself.
I leaned on the bathroom counter to support myself since my legs didn't seem to be able to do so. I forced myself to look in the mirror, and my heart dropped at what I saw.
You know what it looks like when a girl cries in the movies? How her tears are shiny and clean and her eyes look glassy? And for some reason it looks pretty even though she's crying. That's not what I looked like.
My eyes were glassy, but not in a pretty way. My hair was a mess and every part of my face looked empty. My skin looked like a zombie, and if I'm being completely honest, I felt like one too. My reflection stared back at my as I examined every ugly, hideous feature. And it scared me.
I hung my head in shame and slid back down to the floor, burying my head in my hands. I took a quick peek at my phone from behind my hands, but shook my head at myself. I can't call them. Not now, and not ever.
I let out a wail as my mind flashed back to only three days ago.
Flashback:
I stormed towards the three boys with a glare that would probably make all three of them proud if it weren't directed at them.
"Why didn't you guys drive me home?" I fumed at them. They had, for the third time that week, left the school without me. They immediately grew guilty expressions on their faces, and Bennett scratched the back of his head.
"Yeah... about that... Hannah, Candice, and Abby needed a ride, so we had to drive them instead. Sorry," he said. I let out a scoff.
"Of course you did," I mumble. It wasn't meant for them to hear, but I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought.
"Hey! You can't honestly be mad at us for actually spending time with our girlfriends," Jordan defended.
"I'm not mad about that," I responded Okay, maybe I am. But you can't blame me. They pretty much just forgot about me. But the thing that hurt even more was the fact that I liked Declan. I know, it's stupid and cliche, and he would obviously never go for me. I mean, who would? But it still hurt every time I saw him and Hannah together. "But you guys have been acting like I don't even exist. You can't expect me to be okay with that," I finished.
"We haven't been ignoring you! Jesus, not everything is about you," Declan yelled.
"Well not everything is about your girlfriends either," I argued. "You only ever spend time with them anymore. I swear to God, it's like they've got you on leashes."
"No it isn't! Do you honestly think we'd let our girlfriends control us? Who do you think we are?" I could feel Declan's frustration growing, but for some reason, I still pushed the subject.
