Naomi POV:
She loved herself, but didn't wear it on the outside. This love came from inside as a deep, calm confidence in who she was on this earth - a quiet respect for the person she saw in the mirror. That girl was me.
I smiled at my reflection as I added the finishing touches to my makeup and admired my work. It was unbelievable to think of just how far I had come in life. I was currently 27, married to the love of my life, Declan, and, working my way up in the writing industry.
After so many sleepless nights, hours spent crying, and years of self doubt, I'd finally come to accept myself. My life had been an uphill battle from the start, and I still do have struggles, but I also have wonderful moments like these, where I feel truly happy with who I am and where I am.
"Are you ready to go?" I am snapped out of my thoughts and see Declan leaning against the door to the bathroom in the mirror.
"Yeah. All set," I said, turning around.
"Are you okay?" he asks. He had always been cautious around me, always checking to see if I was okay. He knew how much I struggled, and he always did his best to be there for me just like I did for him.
"Yeah," I said with a smile. "I'm just really happy," I said as he pulled me to his chest.
"That's good," he mumbled into my hair. "That's all I want you to be."
"I usually feel really anxious and sad for no reason, but right now for some reason I'm just completely okay with who I've become and how my life turned out. It feels like everything is finally being put into place and will be okay," I said. "Everything is just so much better now," I said as he ran a hand through my hair.
"I'm happy that you're happy. You deserve it. You're so strong and you've fought so hard and now you don't have to anymore and I'm glad that you've finally found some peace," he said.
"Me too," I said. "Life really did turn out okay."
This wasn't meant to be a good read. I would like to clear that up. I know it is awful and I know it wasn't very enjoyable to read, but I'm still posting it because it's important to me.
These short few paragraphs mean a lot to me because I wrote them a while ago, back when my life was going good, and they were never meant to be published. I wrote these because I felt like Naomi in this oneshot: despite how awful life usually felt and how much I felt like giving up sometimes, in that moment, I felt like I had no worries or problems and everything was going fine and it proved to me that things would eventually get better.
I'm posting this because I'm at a point in my life where I'm not sure if it will get better. Everything honestly seems pointless. School always feels like a prison but at the end of the day I'm afraid to go home because my family doesn't exactly treat me well and it feels like everything is falling apart. Right now I'm trying really hard to remind myself that it'll get better eventually. Something good will happen and I'll forget all about the time when I thought I wanted to die.
For anybody else who feels like you're at your lowest point in life and it won't get better, know that it probably will. Don't give up hope. You may be crying yourself to sleep and drowning in worry. You may feel like you are worth nothing and your life is pointless. You may feel like you'll never reach your goal and your favorite person will never love you back.
But at some point in the future, you're going to look in the mirror and feel so completely satisfied with your life and how it turned out after you struggled for so long. You're going to be so proud of yourself and how hard you fought to become the person you are today. Your going to look at yourself with so much respect because you've gone so much farther than you ever thought you would, and you'll be your own favorite person.
I'm writing this for everybody who's in the same situation I'm in: it's okay if your life is falling apart. It's okay if you aren't where you want to be or you aren't as good as you think you should be. Things happen and stuff goes wrong but nothing is permanent and it'll get better sometime. Sleep a bit easier with that in mind.
And if any of you need to talk to somebody, I will always listen. I might not be able to fix your problem and I may not even know who you are, but I will always listen to you and be there for you.
And on a completely unrelated note, don't let anybody make you feel bad for not being the person that they want you to be. You are your own person and you are worthy of love and respect and humanity.
