Dear Niall,
July 23
It's late, and I just got home. I wasn't at Riverdale nearly as long as I thought I'd be, so I'm grateful for that. Like I said, it's late, so I haven't seen you yet. I'll come over tomorrow, I promise.
I guess I left out a few details about Riverdale in my previous letters, but I'll tell you those things now.
It was clean. I mean, it was really damn clean. It kind of hurt, to be honest. Everything was so, so, sooo clean looking. White walls, white ceiling, white floor. There was white furniture and everyone had white sheets and white blankets and white pillow cases. It was blinding. There wasn't a speck of dirt or dust on any surface. And the smell, oh god, the smell. It smelled like whatever it is you clean floors with, not just a little, no. It was everywhere.
The showers were bad, too. They were really, really small (and white). The water had three temperatures: freezing, cold, and lukewarm.
You had roommates, too. I had two. Anna, who was fourteen and she was at Riverdale because she smoked too much pot, and Thalia, who was our age, seventeen, and had an abusive father. I thought they'd be nice, but they weren't. They were really big snobs, actually. They told me trying to kill myself was stupid. They were really annoying.
The food wasn't bad, but you had to eat all of it. That made me angry. It didn't matter if I was full, they forced me to clean my plate. One night I refused, and they told me I wasn't leaving the table until I finished eating. They were extremely serious, apparently, because I sat there until one o'clock in the morning.
I think my lowest point had to have been when they did my analysis. I didn't write about it. I tried, I just couldn't do it. Basically, they took me into this evaluation room and told me to strip down to nothing. I had no choice, obviously, but to obey. It was really cold and they stripped me down and and I was crying because I just wanted to go home and I didn't see why this was necessary. I just felt really low, like they had taken everything away from me. I had nothing. I missed you and I was tired.
But I'm home now, right? I'm home. I'm home. I don't know why they didn't tell me ahead of time that I was leaving, but I wish they had. Just so I could've known, you know? Just so I had something to look forward to.
I have something to look forward to now, though. Seeing you.
Love,
Elle
Niall,
July 23
You're home? Oh, god. You're home. I saw your dad's car drive by my house just now, and I'm positive that was you in the passenger seat.
It's late, and I'm sure you just want to sleep, so I'll wait till tomorrow to go see you.
I have a lot to tell you.
1. I missed you.
2. I want to kiss you.
(Then I'll kiss you.)
3. I am in love with you.
And then...I don't know. I don't know but these are things I have to tell you. I don't care about your stupid boyfriend, I don't even know if you two are still together, but I have to tell you. I have to tell you.
Love,
Niall
