July 18

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Dear Niall,

July 18

Fuck you.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

I hate you, Niall.

I was supposed to die. I was ready to die. You screwed it up, Niall. Fuck you.

Sincerely,

Elle

Dear Elle,

July 18

Oh my god, Elle. What were you thinking? Suicide?

I don't know what you're going through, but suicide is not the answer.

You weren't letting me in, and I was worried, so I snuck in through your window. At first, I thought you were asleep. You were, sort of. You were in that tired, drowsy, unaware state between asleep and awake. I touched you and your body was unnaturally cold, and so I felt your pulse. You barely had one.

My eyes darted around the room, landing on an empty pill bottle. I screamed then, and it was all I could do not to break down. I called an ambulance first, and then did as they instructed. I sat behind you and placed you between my legs. Then, I did my best attempt at the heimlich maneuver. You came out of your unaware, half-asleep state. You screamed and cried and vomited. We were one big mess of tears.

Love,

Niall

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