Dear Niall,
July 16
This morning there were one, two, three hits. Then Louis calmed down and we talked. He got angry again. Four, five, six, seven hits. He mumbled a quick "I'm really sorry." and we talked a little while longer. I told him I thought we should take a break. Eight, nine, ten hits, and then a kick, just for good measure. I already feel myself bruising.
Something happened, Niall. Something worse than any bruise or cut.
He touched me.
I mean, he like, really touched me.
My dad was at work, just like always, so Louis never has a hard time getting away with this stuff.
He told me he wanted to go talk upstairs, and like an idiot, I told him that was fine with me. We made our way to my bedroom, but I knew something was wrong when I saw him lock my door out of the corner of my eye.
He sat down next to me on the edge of my bed, and set his hand on my knee. I tried my best not to shudder at the sudden contact with his skin. He started talking to me, saying how sorry he was for hitting me. He told me he wanted to make it up to me. He started to rub his hand up and down my thighs and I was scared, really scared.
He leaned over and started kissing my neck. I tried to stand up, but he pushed me back onto the bed and whispered "No, baby, just sit down. Just relax." I had no choice but to stay put, since his hand was still holding me down. He moved his lips to mine and started kissing them, but I made no effort to kiss him back. It wasn't like he used to kiss me, this was scary. He started palming my breast and I did my best not to cry.
Louis pulled my shirt off against my will, and drank in the sight of me. I couldn't even scream. I could hardly move, I was terrified. He pushed me some more so that I was laying on the bed, and he reached for the button of my shorts. I was frozen in fear, and I could do nothing but watch. He pulled my shorts down my legs and I choked out a sob and he unclasped my bra.
It dawned on me then that Louis never told me he loved me. I had sex with him before he said he loved me. I forgave him for hitting me and he doesn't even love me.
Louis doesn't love me.
He pulled both of our remaining clothes off and whispered a few more things into my ear.
"You're so hot, Elle." He said.
"Shh, baby, don't cry." He said.
"Elle, just relax." He said.
"I want to make you feel good." He said.
He kept touching me, I kept crying. He shoved himself into me, using me as though I was nothing more than a piece meat. He threw me around, doing what he wanted, completely disregarding the fact that it hurt like hell.
When he was finished with me, he left. Just like that. He just walked out. Niall, he didn't even look back at me. He didn't say a word, he just walked out my front door like it was nothing, like I was nothing.
Maybe I am nothing.
Love,
Elle
Dear Elle,
If you don't let me in I swear I'm breaking into your house.
I love you too much to sit back and worry. I know I have to do something.
Love,
Niall
------
Okay so thank you guys sososo much for 400 reads on this story. LIKE I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
Please keep reading and don't forget to vote. Tell your friends about Because. :)
Anyways, thank you again for 400 reads, it makes me sooo happy.
xxx
