A/N: Another fan-fiction inspired by a song (this will probably happen a lot, if the one-shot isn't a request), this one by Thirty Seconds To Mars. It's not about the band, it's about Andy and Ashley from Black Veil Brides (hence: 'Andley', and yes it will be boyxboy, sort of) and some individuals may find this upsetting.
WARNING: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE
Black Veil Brides: Andley Sad One-shot
The Kill (Bury Me)
What if I wanted to break?
Laugh it all off in your face?
What if I fell to the floor, because I can't take this anymore!
Glass shattered as my fist connected with the reflective surface.
Standing hunched over the sink in my bathroom, I stared at myself in what was left of the mirror, each shard reflecting my puffy red eyes and heavy chest. My heart was pounding and I couldn't hear my own thoughts. I wanted to cry and wail and scream until my throat bled raw, fall to the floor amongst the glass and just stay there, until I was too weak to move, too weak to cry out...too weak to fight anymore.
I wanted to die.
All over some stupid tweet.
Me and @JulietSimmsALL have an announcement for the BVB army!
Falling to my knees, I screamed and clutched at my head, before my crying eyes fell on a large shard of broken mirror in front of me.
It was the only one within easy reach, it was the only one directly in my line of sight. Picking it up, it fit perfectly in my palm and cut into my flesh with the slightest pressure.
It was fate.
The universe, whatever higher power there was...it wanted this to happen. It wanted me to do this.
You're killing me, killing me!
He's killing me, killing me!
But now I wanted to be killed.
The reflective glass digging repeatedly into my flesh was all I could feel. The way it was glinting in the light with every rip and tear I made at the skin all I could see. The dripping of crimson onto the tiles and my choked sobs the only sounds.
Picking up a new shard when the old one became to slippery with blood, I moved onto my other arm, my usually tanned skin stained crimson where it hadn't been removed with the mirror. It seemed my own vanity was the very thing I was using to destroy myself.
As much as I tried to focus on the irony, I couldn't. Not when his perfect blue eyes wouldn't leave my mind's eye, the way they swam with love and adoration.
Just not for me.
He didn't want me like that.
He didn't want me! I tried to be someone else for him, but nothing seemed to change and then when it was clear that he was happy with Juliet, I tried to change again, tried to move on...but now...I know now, this is who I really am inside.
This monster is who I really am!
The light faded as my vision went black around the edges, but I still cut.
I still slashed even as I crumpled to the ground, sobs escaping me loud and fast now. Warmth leaked from my skin as the blood left me with each new tear in my skin.
Cut.
Slash.
Tear.
He'd hate me for this, my band would hate me for this, our fans would hate me for this: for being weak: not being strong enough to deal with being rejected by a man who I never even had a chance with.
Cut.
Slash.
Tear.
I shouldn't be here; I was worthless, a failure! A pathetic faggot! I couldn't even kill myself quick enough!
Cut.
Slash.
Tear.
With a second wind, I stumbled to my feet, staggering out of my bathroom, falling into walls and onto furniture as I managed to make it to my bed room. I ripped open my beside drawer, spewing the contents all over the floor as I searched desperately for my sleeping pills.
It didn't wake me long to find them.
Unscrewing the top, I ignored everything but the little white pills I was pouring into my palm. Swallowing them desperately like they were water after a trek in the desert, I slumped against my bed, landing on the floor with a soft 'thud'.
My thoughts started to blur, pictures of perfect blue eyes filled with love still not leaving my mind. It was just a shame that that love wasn't for me.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I was almost gone, my head resting against the cool hardwood of my bedroom floor when - of all the voices I could have heard - I heard the one voice I truly wanted to forget.
"Ashley?"
'Andy', I tried to force out, but I couldn't. Not when skinny arms grabbed me, not when I heard someone frantically calling for an ambulance, not when I felt myself being lifted and someone was begging me not to go.
I just...couldn't.
Even with Andy here by my side...my love was killing me.
You're killing me, killing me.
All I wanted was you.
