Letters to Life: Letters written to a lost life

Silence and Scream 1

dear life,
even as I write, i feel like i am disrespecting the words. but do you know of any other escape from this place?

there have been a few revelations lately. did i not mention that i have lost some of my fragments? now i know where i have lost them. i have lost them inside of me. the fragments did not fall apart. they fell inside and now, they poke me from within. the fragments, the blood from my wounds, the stale debris of my soul, fell inside of me.

now, this ruin is burning. do they not say that flames destroy everything? why is this fire then not destroying this ruin? why does it not turn to ashes? why does it keep burning? the smoke rising from it is contaminating me. it is giving air for my inner demons to survive.

the silence that these demons create is deceiving. it starts slowly. it soothes me at first, then sharpens with every passing breath, starts with piercing my ears and then stabbing me all over. the silence pinches my ear from the outside and the shrills of my thoughts from the inside.

finally, it softens like velvet. it surrounds me, wraps me, blankets me in its long melancholic arms. i give in to its deceit and let it in, drop by drop. then it spreads throughout this empty shell that my skin has created.

the angels of silence spreading through my body finally reach my mind and kiss the demons of my thoughts singing a rasping song. this is how the soothing silence becomes scary. this is how the angels of silence conspire with the demons in my mind against me.

here, in this lost place, even the angels are not themselves. the angels are flawed. the silence is flawed. everything is.

fighting demons disguised as angels.