Letters to Life: Letters written to a lost life

Pain and Numbness 2

dear life,
sometimes i wonder how my heart can be so empty while my brain is so full. why can i not equate my feelings and thoughts?

i have lost track of time. so i pass my time counting my breaths. lately, i feel tired of waiting for my next breath. it takes too much time to come. it reminds me how you are not coming at all. i guess, slowly, like time, i will lose track of my breaths too.

i feel fragile. only one touch of the cashmere-like soft night is enough to break me. each night, with the first flicker of darkness, my skin powders down to dust. my heart shatters into a million tiny jigsaw pieces. my brain fulminates, erupting with those loud evil thoughts. and my soul, it melts. it melts and the fluid smears the ruin. my blood flows out and the cold wind freezes it. it somehow manages to stain my broken existence.

there i sit, working whole night, gathering the jigsaw pieces, joining piece with another, fixing the puzzle of my heart. then i capture it into me again by molding my skin with the moisture of my soul. i clean the bloodstains with my teardrops. i fix myself time and again temporarily. a perfect collage art piece.

trying not to get hurt by my own broken pieces,
yours.