Letters to Life: Letters written to a lost life

Confessions 1

dear life,
something about this moment tells me to confess my mistakes before it is too late.

i used to grimace my shadow. i used to stay in darkness to avoid it but when my shadow stopped appearing, i was lonely. maybe my shadow was afraid of loneliness too. maybe it visited me every day just to accompany me in this solitude.

i am afraid of waves but whenever i feel the quench of your love, i wonder that maybe the ocean is thirsty too. maybe the waves roll towards me just to feel a loving touch.

i am scared of the screams inside my brain. they deafen me, weaken me, but the silence haunts me in their rare absence. maybe the screams crave the silence too or the voices in my brain scream just to keep me conscious.

i panic when my breaths tremble but they may be shivering because of the coldness of my frozen heart.

i used to despise seasons but now i have realized that seasons are better than people. seasons change only after months. people change with the fall of each grain of sand in the hourglass.

no one is at fault. nothing is. i am the only one to be blamed.

my shadow only wanted to befriend me. it was my fault we did not get along. the waves only want a warm caress but it is my fault that i am so cold hearted. my tears only want to shield me from my weakness. it is my fault that i cannot hold them in and cherish their care for me. the screams only try to crack my mind open to let my thoughts out. not a single thing is to be blamed. it is only my fault and i am sorry.

blaming myself for unknown sins.