Meeting Mr Firth

23

22 years later..

Woke up in the morning to an empty bed. I looked around the room in search of that familiar face, but it wasn't to be seen. I got up and put on his robe..I needed some fresh air, so I stepped outside, on the balcony. It was a cold March morning, the sun shining brightly but still not warm enough. I heard footsteps, then could feel someone was standing behind me..

-Good morning, mom!
-Good morning, Em!
-What are you doing outside? You're going to catch a cold.
 
I smiled faintly.. She sounded just like her father..

-I'm glad you came in, darling. Last night I just finished writing you this.
-A letter?
-More or less. Take it as a story. Something I thought you should know. We should've told you everything earlier but I considered you too young to understand.
-I'm 20, mom.
-I know, dear. And more mature than I could ever hope you'd be. Just read it, okay?
-Now?
-You have anything else to do?
-Not really.. Cathy and grandma are waiting for you downstairs to breakfast. Cathy made pancakes..
-Why am I not surprised? I laughed.
-You go. I prefer to stay here and read your letter, mom.
-Alright, darling.

I watched her sitting on a chair on the balcony and opening the letter impatiently as I was leaving the room. I needed to tell her all she's been wondering about before she was born. She had so many questions I could never answer face to face..so I wrote her that letter:

"My dearest child,

I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to answer your questions to your face. But I couldn't.. we couldn't. Your father and I had never been a traditional family. And perhaps you suffered from all that, darling. But hurting your feelings was far from out intentions.
I admit we never thought of having you at first, Em. After we adopted Cathy we considered our family to be complete. But neither were you a mistake, as you might have thought. We considered having a child of our own being selfish at first..but as the years passed.. Well, your father wanted me to feel complete, to feel the joy of having a child of my own. He wanted to offer me the miracle of giving birth to you, our little princess, before he would be gone. Your father always had his fears with him..fear that he wasn't good enough for us, fear of leaving us alone. And Cathy, she was 5 by that time. She said she wanted very much to have a little sister. 9 months later you came, fulfilling her wish.
You and Cathy always meant everything to us. Equally. We never made any difference between you two and I hope you noticed that. Colin loved all three of his girls equally much, I dare say.. And now you see and I hope you understand why we didn't have a child of our own first. Not because we didn't wanted to but because we though it better to adopt. And maybe we would've adopted another child if Colin wouldn't have had that wish..
We were planning to tell you all on your 18th birthday, to answer all your questions, whatever they were. But fate got into our way.. And I couldn't find the strength of writing this to you ever since. Now I have and I'm glad I did. Whatever else you want to know, I'm willing to tell.

Your mom"

***
-Cathy, dear, you do the best pancakes.
-I had a good teacher..but they're not far as good.
-They're close, darling. Very close.
-Where's Em?
-Upstairs. Reading a letter from..me. She'll be down any minute. And I want to tell you a little story. Of course, if your sister will want to hear.
-About what?
-The time when I was pregnant with her.
-That's what you wrote her about?
-Yes..it was about time she understand why she wasn't the first. She always felt awkward about you being her bigger sister but being adopted. And even if she never showed that..I knew, even her friends at school were asking her about that.
-And about dad?
-Usually..
-That was stressful for me too. Kids were mean, referring to him as my grandad.
-Well, that time is over, honey. And we got through it well, I dare say.
-You're right, mom. We shall let the past in the past..
-I've been trying to for over 2 years.. but now I realise it's better to embrace the past. With all it's good and bad aspects. And we had more good, fortunately.
-And we still do, mom. We still have each other.
-And grandma, and Auntie Viv. We're still an extended family.
-Even our half brothers..
-Yes, of course. You've been supportive to each other..and they're close to you.
-More to me than to Em, I think.
-They've known you for longer. With Em..they've been a little distant mainly because they couldn't understand why their father wanted another child of his own after he was certain adoption was wiser.
-But they eventually understood.
-More or less. They accepted the situation.. They are good listeners, after all.
-Like dad.
-Yeah..
-Why doesn't grandma ever talk to them?
-She does..very briefly. She's thinking maybe that is odd they're close in age to me..much more than to you, their sisters.
-Shh! She's going to hear us.
-I could say it to her face. She's not getting upset by the truth, you know.
-Here she comes!
-You know it isn't nice to talk behind people's backs.
-You heard, didn't you?
-Yes, dear. I might be old but I'm not deaf. As for the boys..yeah, I can't much see them as grandsons when they're so close in age to you, Andy. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate their acceptance.. I always have.
-I know mom..they do too. And I also know it's been hard for you, all of it.
-Darling, as long as you are happy I have nothing to oppose to.
-I am, mom..still am.
-Were you also talking about a letter?
-So you heard everything? I thought you were making coffee, not listening in.
-I was doing both things. So?..
-I wrote Em..to make her understand the things she never could. Telling her alone seems unfair though.. Or incomplete.
-You're a good storyteller. And I'm here to help.
-Thank you, mom! For everything..
-If I wouldn't have been there for you through the hard time then who would have, darling? That's a mother's job, to protect her kids.
-You protected us all when I was unable to. Much of a mother that I've been lately..
-Don't say that, mom. You're the best mother me and Em could've ever asked for.
-And you the best girls.

I gave Cathy a hug and then Em came from behind and embraced us both. I realised that was enough.. the love for my girls was keeping me alive. The care for them was the most important thing. Em gave me back the latter and thanked me for writing it, but she would rather not keep it. She wanted to hear the whole story from me..

-The memories we create cannot be put on paper, mom. It would be much better to hear it from you. I just wish.. Wish I could hear it from dad too ..
-I know, sweetheart, I know. I wish that too. But there is no going back. We should go further. As long as we have each other, my dear girls..it shouldn't be that hard at all.
-Grandma kept telling us that for 2 years..
-And she's right. I'm sorry it took me too much to realise that, darlings.
-Is okay mom.
-Alright. Tell me what you want to know, Em.
-All of it. I'm just curious how you decided to have another child after the adoption. You said you were happy that way.
-Your father and I were happy even before the adoption. It was his idea to ask me if I wanted kids of my own at some point. I said I wasn't necessarily thinking of having children of my own but I thought adoption to be better. I never thought he would suggest adopting. I was just answering his question generally.
-So pretty much the same happened in my case?
-More or less the same. As I told you in the letter, it was again your father's idea. This time the difference was that I never thought we were going to do it. As an idea, it felt selfish. Because of his boys. I knew they're couldn't accept the idea as easier as they accepted the adoption. And I was a bit afraid of having a child..of giving birth.
-Who isn't, dear?
-True, mom. And I had you and Colin with me all the time. Without you I don't know what I would've done.
-It wasn't the case.
-Mom, can you tell us more about it? How it was, since the decision?
-Yeah, I would love to hear it too. I was only 5 and can't remember much.
-Well then, my darlings, I should tell you the whole story.. It all started one night 20 years ago..

*****************************
Excuse me, guys, if I won't be able to update the story for about a week. I have some exams and studying for them is pretty hard..takes a lot of my free time  anyway. 😔
Also hope you like this part. 🤞🏻❤