Don't Hide Your Love Away

10

I raced into the school where the dance was.
My shoes squeaked on the floor, slapping against the floor loudly.
I skidded to a stop at the gym, and walked in.
Spotting Julian, Ally, and Daysha, I ran over.
"Where have you been?" Julian asked, cocking his head in a cute way.
I blushed, brushing my hair back.
"I had something to take care of..." I eneded up saying.
He nodded, glancing at Ally.
"You look good Dex!" Daysha giggled, and Ally nodded.
"Yeah you look good." Julian sent me a smile that made my heart jump, and I looked away from him.
"Really?" I accidentally muttered, gaining some weird looks.
"Er.. yeah Daysha said the same thing."
I frowned, feeling hot.
"I know!" I said defensively, ignoring the confused look the girls shared with each other.
"Hey Julian I wanna know if ya wanna dance." Danita said walking up to us.
I examined her dress. It was quite beautiful.
It was completely black with a criss cross cutout pattern on the front.
Julian agreed and went off to dance with Danita, while Daysha and Brandon began dancing.
"Dexter..." Ally began.
"Yeah?"
She smiled.
"I-I have to tell you something.
"What is it?"
"Do you think you could help me ask someone if they would like to dance?"
I nodded.
"Who is it?"
She blushed.
"You may not know her, but her name is Aimee."
My jaw dropped.
"Oh I know her! Sure- let's go!!" I yelled, grabbing Ally's hand and running with her, causing her to let out a giddy laugh.
"I haven't seen you smile in forever." She giggled happily.
After looking around for a couple seconds we found Aimee sitting alone.

"Hey Aimee." I said, catching the redhead's attention.
She looked up at me and smiled.
"Hi... uh no I don't want a dance with you, if that's what you're talking to me for."
I looked at Ally.
"Actually... Ally here was wondering if you'd dance." I said
Ally was flushed red and Aimee just smiled and stood up.
"Did I give off gay vibes?" She chuckled.
Ally nodded, and laughed.
"I could feel them miles away so I thought I may as well give it a shot."
Aimee took Ally's hand.
"Well maybe this will blossom into something more than just a dance." She said smiling.
I smiled, and decided to let them have their moment.
After giving them some space I looked over at Julian, who was busy dancing with a couple girls.
"You ok Dexy?" Daysha was in front of me all of a sudden, an actual worried look on her face.
"Y-yeah..." I stammered, face going hot.
She followed my gaze, and raised a brow.
"I thought you didn't want a girlfriend... you look sad alone." She said softly, holding my hand.
I gulped.
"I uh... I'm very alone." I choked out, eyes darting to Julian's face, which was happy as ever.
She followed my gaze, looking confused, and perplexed. Can she tell who I was looking at?
Before she could say anything else, the song ended and Ally had approached us with Aimee.
Julian must have headed over once I looked at Ally, because he was beside us in no time.
Ally was still holding hands with Aimee.
I smiled sincerely at them and she blushed.
"Woah... are you two dating?" Julian asked.
Ally sighed.
"No... but we do have a date on Saturday." She said softly.
Daysha squealed happily.
"That is totes adorbs! Brandon asked me out on a date and like maybe we could go on a double date since it's both first time dates!" She yelled excitedly just as Brandon walked up.
Ally looked at Aimee who smiled.
"That sounds like fun." She said.
Brandon nodded.
"Just us ladies on Saturday it is!" He yelled.
"Brandon you're a man." Daysha whispered.
Brandon just gasped in response.
"Well I guess we have to each get a girlfriend." Julian said looking at me.
I laughed.
"Yeah... you do that." I muttered, hating the fact that he loved girls so much.
"Hey Dex." I looked over my shoulder at Danita.
"Hey." I said smiling.
"Hey. I was wondering if you'd like to dance during the next slow song."
"I uh.... have to reject your offer.... sorry."
She rolled her eyes.
"Dude, I am seriously starting to believe you're gay." She whispered that last part so only I heard, solidifying the fact she was actually believing it... thanks for not outing me.
My face heated up.
"I am not." I said, brushing a fierce red.
"Ok cowboy." She giggled, giving me a knowing look.
A girl came up to us, giggling at Julian.
"Holy cow... your muscles. Do you work out?" She asked innocently.
"Yeah. And I'm on the football team." He said.
I cocked my head.
"Don't fall for his charming ways, he's an ass." I said.
He raised a brow.
"What? My charming ways?" He teased, shoving me.
Narrowing my eyes, I scoffed.
"I-I didn'tI mean I was just saying uh... shut up you're such a....." I started to say asshole but then I saw his eyes and great now I'm falling in love with him again.
"Im a what? You don't look so good." Julian asked, tilting his head.
"I-I just forgot... what I was- ugh just stop talking." I stammered, hoping he couldn't see my beet red face.
Ally glanced at me, before sharing yet another look with Daysha.
Daysha POV
As soon as this girl walked up to Julian, I could feel how tense Dexter got...
I examined him, trying to read what he was not really showing.
"Don't fall for his charming ways... he's an ass." Ouch. That seemed to have more meaning to it when you watched his eyes.
Dexter was very red, and he was stuttering quite badly. He seems extremely nervous.
"-Stop talking!" Dexter was completely worked up, I swear I could hear his heart racing.
I glanced at Ally, wondering if she noticed.
She acknowledged my look and nodded, but then we noticed Dexter side eyeing us, panic on his face.
Maybe my sister was right...
---
Dexter POV
~Wiiiiiise mennnn saaay, only fools ruush in, but I caaan't help falling in love, wiiith you.~
"Another slow song?" I scoffed.
"Hey, I offered you a dance." Danita said walking past us with a guy.
Daysha and Brandon walked off to the middle of the dance floor, as did Aimee and Ally.
Julian gave me a look that was very confused.
"You rejected Danita? Dude this is the second time- you think she's ugly! Don't you?"
"What?! No! She's very pretty... just not my type!"
He crossed his arms.
"Soo Li, she wasn't your type either?"
I looked away sheepishly and nodded.
"Dexter! I-I was wondering if you would like to dance with me?!" Meghan McCain asked, suddenly beside me.
I shook my head.
"Uh... no thanks. Sorry..."
She muttered something about how this was stupid idea and ran off.
"And Meghan McCain isn't your type either I see."
I blushed and avoided his eyes.
"No... not really." I muttered.
"Then what is?"
I shrugged.
"It doesn't matter really."
He groaned.
"Come on! Do you like long haired girls? Blonde? Skinny? Curvy? Tall? Short? Blue eyes? Pale skin? Dark ski-"
"Julian! Would you like to dance?" Some girl asked running up.
He smiled.
"Sure... Hey Dex I'll be back- and you better tell me your type!" Julian said walking off.
Adore You by Miley Cyrus began playing and I couldn't help but sigh.
"Wonderiiiing where you've been, all my liiife."
Great. Another slow song.
"I want to kill myself." I blurted out quietly to myself.
"What?" I jumped, seeing a girl standing near me.
"I- nevermind..." I sighed.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...
---
I sat out back of the school, taking deep breaths.
Why do I have to be gay- for my best friend? Why did my whole family not come for me- why can't I just be happy?
I groaned in annoyance and grabbed my arm, ripping into my skin.
---
I stumbled back into the school after about an hour.
During that cry/self harm fest I had gone out and bought alcohol... alot of it.
I feel like I'm relapsing again. Hell, I did relapse....
After I carefully yet shakily made my way to the bathroom, I slammed the door shut behind me and locked it.
I backed up against the cool metal and slid down, crying harder and louder than I had outside.
Slipping off my jacket so it wouldn't stain, I pulled up my under shirt sleeves and examined my torn up arms.
I growled angrily and chucked my phone at the large mirror that covered the wall opposite of me, sending a waterfall of glass crashing to the floor. Once again breaking that mirror which had been replaced from the last time I shattered it.
After taking a few seconds to breathe, I got up and looked up into the mirror above the sinks and glared at my reflection, sending my fist right into my face, shattering that mirror again too. Violently, I ripped off the soap dispenser from the wall and chucked it, sending soap splattering everywhere.
Then I kicked the trashcan over and punched the wall, tearing through more of my skin on my knuckles.
I screamed angrily, punching the already shattered mirror.
Out of breath and loudly heaving in shaky breaths, I sunk to the floor and grabbed a piece of glass. Then looked down and realized my arms were caked in blood and deep, messy gashes from where I had ripped my arms open with that not so sharp rock.
The tears started pouring from my eyes once again, but silently.
I grabbed my fireball and started chugging it, bottle after bottle.