Don't Hide Your Love Away

9

Once I was finally home in my room I felt the tears fall from my eyes.
I should just... just... do it. I'll finally be with my parents again.
I whimpered softly.
I miss them... I cant do this anymore... I need my mama and papa... I need my baby sisters... but I left them... they must hate me.
"Mama I miss you so much." I cried, letting go my thoughts.
I fell onto my bed and curled up into a ball.
I can't tell anyone... no one... they wouldn't understand... no one can help me and I don't want sympathy or pity.
"Mama...please come back!" I wailed in soanish, burying my face into my bed.
I need someone so badly... I hate this empty feeling. I have no one. No family. No one sees me as family... so I don't see them as family... I want to but they will just leave. I just need to be cradled in someones arms and be told that everything will be ok.... even though I know it's a lie it is something that would comfort me to hear.
"Te amo Mama... papa... hermanas..."
I moss them so much... I am all alone in this world. No one knows about it... can't bother people with this horrific life I live.
I picked up my phone and dialed Ally first.
"Hello?"
I smiled.
"Hey Ally..." I said softly.
There was a pause.
"Hey, finally you called! We texted you asking if you wanted to watch a movie and eat popcorn with us? It's Insidiousss..." I sighed.
"No thanks... I'm just uh..."
I cant just come out and say that I'm gonna be dead soon so I just want them to know I love them.
"Dexter, are you ok?"
"No... I mean yeah but no I cant go... nevermind."
Then I hung up quickly and took in a shaky breath.
I opened my balcony door and stepped out.
I closed the door behind me and looked down at the ground below.
The people look like ants. I climbed over the guard rail, and felt as if the wind could blow me off.
Fuck.
I climbed back over, deciding I couldn't do it and walked back inside and paced around.
I couldn't take it anymore! I started crying and got under my throw blankets, hugging my big rag fox my mom had made for me when I was born... then I took a blade and just started slitting my wrists.
It was all a bloody mess and it was everywhere.
---
I woke up to a loud bang. I turned my head to look up at the stand, plopping back down, realizing my glass fell off the stand, I sighed with relief.
I laid there for a second, before I started thinking about Julian.
I just envisioned him kissing me... he seems like a good kisser.
With that, I got up, pulled on a black short sleeve tshirt with a red long sleeve under it, and some light Grey ripped jeans, my rainbow sneakers I have yet to wear, brushed my hair and glanced at myself solemnly before heading out.

---
As I walked into school on Monday, I was greeted by Julian, Ally, and Daysha.
"Hey." I said, walking over to our table.
"Homecoming is tonight." Daysha squealed, just as Brandon walked up.
"H-Hey Daysha, will you go to Homecoming with me?" Brandon asked quietly.
Daysha just about screamed, jumping into his arms.
"Yes!" She kissed his cheek, and walked off with him.
"Julian!" A football player called him over, leaving just me and Ally.
"So... what's been going on with you?" She asked quietly.
I just shrugged, avoiding eye contact.
"Nothing really." I whispered.
Julian POV
"Who you going to the dance with?" Miles asked, me as we were stretching for practice.
I just shrugged, taking a sip of water.
"Any girl that wants to dance." I laughed.
He grinned, nodding.
"Fuck yeah."
We started tossing the ball back and forth, waiting for Coach Steaves to come out.
"What's going on with you and Dexter? You guys seem uh... weird... he hasn't talked to us in days."
With a grimace, I caught the ball and looked at him with a cringe face.
"Hes being weird. I'm kind of mad at him. He's being all antisocial and shit." I sighed, dropping my hand with the ball to my waist.
"Damn. Why's he weird?" He asked, scratching his head.
"He's just hiding shit. Something weird about him I feel like he's not telling us stuff. Like important stuff not no stupid shit he's being real sketchy, Mathew told us he has a fake name and shit."
Miles paused, before letting out a laugh.
"Let me guess... he gave him some Spanish name? Maybe he's just racist, he calls him illegal... fag- all anytime he sees any of us."
Shaking my head, I put my hands through my hair.
"His family confidently was sick the family dinner.... he has like fifty people in just his direct family. No way they all got sick but him."
That seemed to intrigue Miles.
"Huh... that is kind of weird. Think he's a runaway then?"
I raised a brow, the thought taking over my brain.
"Maybe... that could explain it."
My phone began ringing, and I grabbed it from my pocket and answered it.
"What do you want, Ezra?" I sighed in annoyance, rolling my eyes.
He huffed, then answered.
"Well to fuck someone but uh mom wants you to be safe or whatever."
With a scoff, I said ok and hung up.
---
Once practice was over, I went home and got ready.
After being dropped back off at the school, it was showtime. The parade went great and our float was the favorite one. Then game time.
We went in and kicked ass, winning Homecoming.
The boys were all freaking out and chest bumping as the cheerleaders did a dance.
Ally and Daysha ran up to me, congratulating me.
"Where is Dexter?" I asked, already feeling annoyed. He pisses me off lately.
"He said he was on his way... but that was an hour ago." Daysha said, raising a brow.
I nodded, frowning.
"Yep... thats nice." I muttered.
Ally just sighed, looking at the ground as we made our way into the school.
Once we got in, everyone already seemed to be there, the music was loud and the lights were flashing different colors.
Daysha looked perplexed as she let out a groan.
"Dexy still isn't here... I hope he's ok."
I scoffed, crossing my arms.
"Yeah he's probably living a second life or whatever."
Ally glared at me, crossing her arms just as I was.
"He's obviously got something going on, and being rude won't help him open up. It's the happiest people who are the saddest, maybe he's one of them." She said angrily, getting Daysha agreeing with her, nodding her head angrily.
"Why does it make you so angry? You're best friends." Daysha added, cocking her head.
I thought for a moment before feeling guilty.
"Yeah... I dont know why..." I opened up, scratching my head.
My phone buzzed, and I looked down to see my brother texted.
"My bro just got Hella drinks... we should go to my place after." I smiled, looking at the girls.
They nodded.
"Yeah that's a good idea."
---
Dexter POV
I got ready for the dance, putting on some ripped jeans, and a white long sleeve shirt.
I sighed, looking at my messy room before leaving.
Not too long after, Daysha texted asking me when I was on my way.
I texted her I was heading out, and walked put the door.
The cold breeze and dark sky made me feel creeped out.
I sighed, continuing down the road.
After about thirty minutes, I felt uneasy.
Just as I passed an alleyway, I was pushed in and up against the brick building.
The impact caused me to groan, and I looked up at who just grabbed me.
"Hey... I need sex... Ill give you stuff." A tall man was in front of me, eyes crazy.
"Well you're lucky you aren't ugly." I sighed.
---
Daysha POV
We were still waiting for Dexter. The dance started like twenty minutes ago.
Brandon was talking to me about his favorite painting, and I just melted with every word. He was so passionate... and very cute hehe.
"Daysha, have you gotten any word from Dexter?" Julian had approached me, looking worried about Dexter for once.
I shook my head.
"God damn." He muttered.
He looked up, with a weird expression.
"Think he's a runaway?"
My jaw fell to the floor, and I really couldn't tell if he was trying to be racist or what.
"Why... would he be a runaway?"
Julian paused, then took in a breath.
"Well who knows if his family is actually here and it would explain him having a fake name."
Ally rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.
"That's ridiculous, don't say stuff like that."
Julian looked down sheepishly, and nodded.
"Sorry."