Beautiful Disaster

Seventeen.

I sit in the back of a black limousine holding Niall's hand. We follow slowly but closely behind the hurst that is carrying Zoe. The boys, Ed, Skuz and Barbie, along with many others follow behind us. Never in a millions years did I think I'd be burring my little sister.

Niall gave my hand a little squeeze and tried to hand me a tissue as we pulled in to the cemetery. I refuse it know I've cried all my tears and that there was nothing left. I'm numb. 

We park and I walk away from Niall and the rest of the group and I made my way to the tombstone that reads:

Zoe Marie Williamson

Although you can't be here with me we're truly no apart,

until the the final breath i take you'll be living in my heart.

I stood there and watched as the love of my life and the boys me and Zoe became so close with carried her casket. 

Barbie, who was crying like a baby, wrapped her arm around my waist while Skuz place his arm around my shoulder. In the back round an acoustic version of One Step at a Time by Four Year Strong played in the back round. I couldn't help when it started.

Sometimes it's hard to say the right thing

The right way on the hardest day of your life

Breathe in, breathe out, it'll be okay

Breathe in, breathe out, I know it's hard to say

And every year November gets closer

And every year it gets a little bit colder

Breathe in, breathe out, it'll be okay

Be strong, hold on, make it through the day

I couldn't help but hum along. 

One step at a time

One foot in front of the other

I'm gonna get through this one way or another

Cause I know it's warmer where you are

Cause no matter how far the view

I still always look up to you

Sometimes it takes a second to sink in

That your life is never gonna be the same again

Breathe in, breathe out, it'll be okay

Breathe in, they say the pain will fade away

The boys set the casket down. At this point I must of looked like a crazy person. I had the biggest smile on my face. I wiggled out of Skuz's and Barbie's grip and I pushed through the boys. Even though I was smiling tears streamed down my face as I fell to my knees beside the casket.

I began singing my heart out for Zoe.

One step at a time

One foot in front of the other

I'm gonna get through this one way or another

Cause I know it's warmer where you are

Cause no matter how far the view

I still always look up to you

I'll never forget the day my heart fell from my chest

It was the moment that I said goodbye

And I laid your body to rest

I'll never take this life for granted