My bleeding heart

Was the grass greener?

I remember when I knew you were never going to change into the man that deserved me, or a man at all.
You would never let me see your phone, I didn't understand due to my level of innocence even though you made sure to ruin though words and actions. One time I got your phone from the counter and unlocked it while you were busy in the kitchen.
I remember your message app being the one that caught my eye. Before you could rip the phone from my hand I already saw three messages.
You: "If I was there I would be pretty distracted."
Girl: "we wouldn't be getting much work done."
Then I opened another one.
You: "Hey sexy."
I closed it just seconds before you grabbed it from my hand and acted like I saw nothing.
I looked at you with pure disgust.
To this day I remember the way my heart sank at the look of your face. You looked like you didn't care even though you got caught. I ran out of the house, crying my eyes out for a boy who lied to me. I also remember doing that a lot , crying over you.
You couldn't explain why you did it. Your excuse was "it's just the way I am. I don't know why. "
My excuse for taking you back after that when people asked was also "I don't know why."